Chapter Fifteen
“ICAN’T BELIEVE I sawan actualdragon,” she repeated for at least the fifth time that day. “Even if itwasin ghost form.”
It had been monstrous. Terrifying. But at the same time, enthralling.
“Aye, ‘tis something to behold,” Aidan said. They had been riding half the day and just stopped to eat and rest the horses. “Wait until you see it in the flesh.”
As it turned out, by the time they caught up with him, Cray’s ethereal dragon had vanished, and he was in a fouler mood than ever. Roaring mad, actually. While he had been unaware of his inner beast appearing like that, because no dragon ever had, he was fully aware that he’d been possessed by another.
“Who is Madison?” he had growled, his dragon eyes flaring. “And how thebloodyhell did she get inside my head!”
“Time will tell, Cousin,” Tiernan had replied, trying to calm him down. “For now, we need to try to figure out her message. What she meant by the number of possessed warriors being a potential issue. More importantly, why their possession made Chloe vulnerable.”
After much debate, they came to the conclusion that the number of warriors must have to do with the number of Stonehenges. They also surmised the monks might have gained access to Chloe when she influenced the men under their possession. To what degree that made her vulnerable and perhaps even Aidan through her was yet to be seen.
What hadn’t been said, though she sensed it, was that she needed to activate the power of the Claddagh ring to protect them. That, however, was easier said than done. While she and Aidan agreed they had seen the ring glow a few times, neither was quite ready to see it fully ignite. He, because he still warred with his devotion to Maeve and her, because well, it was a big step.
More than that, she realized, one she didn’t want to take unless his heart belonged to her.
She wasn’t precisely sure when she had come to that conclusion just that she had. Did she want him to forget Maeve? Of course not. She just didn’t want to be in love with a man who was still in love with another.
She wanted more. She deserved it.
“I feel the change in you,” he said softly. They had broken off from the others and walked through the trees. Rather than hunt, he had decided to show her which berries and plant life were edible, and what herbs flavored a stew well. “There is new confidence inside you.”
They had chatted plenty throughout day, him falling into the tour guide role once again. He also told her more about Goddess Étaín. How supposedly she had been reincarnated many times and was now known not just as a sun, but a moon goddess. Oddly, the more he spoke about her, the more accepting of all this she became. As if a flood gate opened in her mind. She felt a sense of camaraderie with the goddess. Familiarity.
Almost as if she had known Étaín well.
“Goddess Étaín shows us that we can overcome life’s most difficult circumstances,” she had murmured. “She teaches us that though beauty, wealth, and position might fade away, we can retain our shining light. She lights our way on the path of transformation, guiding us toward balance, wholeness, and rebirth.”
“Aye,” he had agreed. “So ‘tis said.”
She hadn’t mentioned it at the time, but she wondered about such a goddess helping them. How appropriate it seemed. Because maybe she had lost her way. Maybe he had too.
Though they had talked plenty as they traveled, they also enjoyed companionable silence, which she found remarkably peaceful. Whether it was his or her magic or maybe both, her inquisitive mind was finally able to quiet. Naturally, she was still curious, but it didn’t seem all-consuming like before.
“Idofeel more confident,” she replied in answer to his comment. “Not that I wasn’t before...” She shrugged a shoulder. “Just not to this degree.” She glanced at him. “I suppose that’s what faery magic does for a girl.”
She had changed out of her fancy dress, but the lingering sensation of its beauty had stayed with her. Maybe, she supposed, even the self-confidence it lent.
“It wasnae the dress,” he murmured, catching her thoughts. “’Tis just who you are at heart coming to the surface. Who you were always meant to be.”
The way he said it warmed her heart. He truly meant it. Thought it.
She liked that about him. His inherent kindness. How supportive he was by nature. He was the sort of man she could see herself developing more with. Something substantial and lasting. Which led her to what had been weighing on her mind.
While tempted to remain quiet about it, she refused to let her ex have any more sway over how she looked at herself. What she feared might happen by making herself vulnerable to a man again. More than that, she didn’t want Aidan to merely catch her thoughts. She wanted to control the narrative and tell him exactly how she felt. She wasn’t in this to give him ultimatums, but shewasin this. So said their ever growing connection.
He needed to understand what that meant.
“I need to be honest with you, Aidan,” she said softly.
“I know,” he said just as softly, evidently sensing what was coming.
“Do you?” She stopped and cocked her head, hardly believing she was saying this to someone she’d just met. But then, strangely, it felt like she had known him so much longer. As if she knew him better than anyone else.
“I understand that you still love Maeve, and a part of you always will,” she continued, “but sooner or later, you’ll have to decide what kind of love that is.” She wanted to touch him but held back. “While still feeling platonic love is fine, natural, I won’t be with a guy who’s stillinlove with the woman he lost.” She shook her head. “It’s not fair to me, and honestly, it’s not fair to you either.”
