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I’m kind of amazed. I mean, I saw him on the floor after West punched him. I can’t believe he has the guts to be here, much less to be acting so superior.
“Maybe I’m not being clear. ” West is getting angry. “I wouldn’t sell to you no matter what you paid me. ” He gestures at Josh. “I’m done with you, too. Get the fuck out of here. ”
Nate’s jawline hardens. “You’re an asshole. ”
“You’re a cocksucker. ”
“Isn’t that more Caroline’s department?”
I have time to register what the words do to West—this weird ripple of tension through him as every part of his body goes hard and furious, all at once.
I have time to think, Oh, crap.
Then everything happens fast. West lunges forward and pushes me back into the apartment at the same time. I’m catching at his waist, trying to keep him from hitting anyone or getting hit, not on my account, not tonight. “Keep out of this,” he says, and he’s straight-arming me toward the door, but the fire escape is slippery and I lose my footing and bang my temple against something hard that makes me see stars, which I always thought was a figure of speech. Nate’s against the railing, West is on him, Josh is shoving West, West’s fist comes up—
I don’t think it’s West’s fault, I really don’t.
But when it’s all over, West is the one who’s standing on the fire escape in wet socks, absently rubbing his knuckles, and Nate is the one on his knees at the base of the stairs, cradling his ribs and spitting blood.
I think you need an ambulance.
I can walk.
Keep the fuck away from her.
She doesn’t belong to you.
Doesn’t belong to you, either, asshole.
Had your chance. Fucked it up.
Wish I’d had her longer. Miss that sweet ass. Or haven’t you fucked her there yet?
Get him out of here. I won’t be responsible.
Let’s go. Nate. Let’s go.
You’ll be sorry.
I slide down the doorjamb, shake my head, blinking. It’s cold.
I wish I hadn’t come to the door.
West is there, his face right in front of mine, his intensity almost more than I can take. “Shit, Caro, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. ”
He pulls me to my feet, puts his arm around me, shuts the door on Nate and Josh. They’re out there in the snow, Nate hobbling when he tries to walk, maybe hurt.
It’s so ugly. All of it, this ugliness, because of me.
I hate it.
I think I’m supposed to like it. I think of all the movies I’ve seen where the guy takes a swing for his woman. The girl never gets hit in those movies. Nobody ever runs to the bathroom, hunched over, and throws up half-digested chicken soup in the toilet.
Clearly, I’m doing this wrong. I’m doing everything wrong.
I hear West come into the room, but I don’t know what he wants from me. When I went to the door, before I even looked out on the fire escape, I put my arm around him and he shrank away from me.
