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“I love a challenge,” he said.
At first, the date was like any other. He bought them both bruschetta, not the Italian bread topped with tomatoes, but the chicken and meat on a stick commonly referred to as kabobs. She had a hard time eating with him watching, until she got the chance to see him suck at it too, sauce spilling onto his lip and chin. They washed down the food with craft beer from red plastic cups filled from a local brew master’s keg.
They walked through the festive area and danced beneath the multicolored Christmas tree lights strung from one food truck across to a large artisan tent and back. The music was loud, a cover band version of The Beach Boys’ greatest hits. They slow danced to a rather morose sounding version of ‘Be True to Your School.’ Rafe sang to her and she relaxed into his shoulder, resting her head there and listening to the sound of his heart thrumming much faster than the beat of the band’s drums. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment.
“Can I ask you a stupid question?” she asked.
“Of course,” he replied. “Stupid questions are the best questions.”
“Do you think you would have asked me to the school formal if we’d known each other in high school?”
She’d never gone to high school, but he didn’t need to know that right now. Horace, her sea turtle mentor, had taught her more than any school could have. At least that’s what Thane had promised her. He’d told her it was too risky putting her in school. Too many things could happen. Someone could try to take her away from them. And the trips back and forth to the mainland would be too much for her at such a young age.
“I would have sent a rose to your desk every day of the month leading up to the formal,” he said. “I would have sung you songs, would have written you poems, and I would’ve gotten down on one knee and asked, trembling with the fear that you might tell me no.”
His words were so sweet they brought tears to her eyes. She was so sensitive right now. Thane had drifted far from her mind, at least far enough that she knew he had nothing to do with this moment, but she wasn’t fool enough to believe his and Penny’s romance hadn’t sparked a strong desire in her to find something similar for herself. She craved wanting. She needed someone to desire her who wanted to hold her and take care of her.
“I would have told you yes,” Kalina said. “I promise.”
In silence they swayed to the music. The band must have known they were wrapped up in a moment because they didn’t kick the beat up into the high-speed rhythm of ‘Surfing Safari’ or ‘Surfing USA.’ Instead, they went with a song from a totally different artist. It was by Harry Belafonte and was called ‘The Land of the Sea and Sun.’
The moment was perfect. Nothing else and nobody else mattered in the world. Thoughts of the past flooded over her, memories of growing up on the island, and she thought it was best she’d never gone to a formal or a prom. She wondered how Rafe’s had turned out and if he’d had a real family to walk him to the door or if his date’s father had welcomed him with a handshake when he’d gone to pick her up. Kalina had missed so many things real teenagers got to experience. Like having real parents.
“Did you go to the school formal?” she asked.
“I did,” he said.
He didn’t give her mind more to work with, so it conjured up images of its own. In her head she saw him picking up a beautiful brunette, she looked irritatingly similar to Evelyn, and he’d given her a corsage. She’d admired his boutonniere. They’d walked hand-in-hand back to the limo he’d rented for only them. Other kids rode in groups, but Rafe was a gentleman and would have splurged for a solo ride. They’d danced and made out and had eventually fucked in some hotel room he’d rented for the night.
“For all of about twenty minutes,” he added. “I wasn’t much into school. My mom was a teacher and couldn’t keep a job for some reason. My dad was gone all the time anyway, so she eventually left him. Then she dragged me all over the place, in and out of public and private schools, as she tried out each new job. I made friends and lost them in a matter of months. I dated, tried to fall for someone, and quickly ditched her when it was time to trade the old life for the new. I hated my mom for that. I started finding the worst crowds to hang out with. I think they were the ones who taught me about indie tunes and dark rock and coffee-house poetry.”
He laughed.
“Fucked up kids are deep,” he said.
Kalina listened to him, not wanting to interrupt as he took this moment to get all his feelings off his chest. She wanted him to. The more she knew, the closer she would feel to him.
“Anyway,” he said. “I learned to adapt and overcome. Once my dad finally tracked us down, he asked if I wanted to go live with him. He promised me a regular life where I wouldn’t live like a gypsy moving from town to town. All my life I’d hoped to see my dad again. So, I agreed and left my mom. I know I broke her heart. I saw it in her eyes when I drove off with him. I wasn’t only her son, but I was her confidant, her traveling buddy, and the only person in the whole world she could depend on. If I’d only been able to depend on her the same way. If she’d given a shit long enough to realize she was ripping me apart. Sob story, I know. Poor me. Kids live that kind of life all the time.”
Kalina considered the roughness of all he’d gone through. She’d had her own problems, but in many ways, maybe she’d been lucky to not have parents pulling her in two different directions. Her family lived on an island where it was all about peace and love, partying and celebrating, learning and adapting. Her tiger shark family was pure love, pure trust, and other than what transpired with Evelyn, had been a life of no regret, remorse, or revenge. She’d always thought she’d gotten screwed in life, but every movie or TV show she got the chance to watch told a different story. It told of depressed teens and warring parents hell-bent on providing the perfect life far away from each other, never giving a shit about how that would affect the children.
“My dad gave me the life he promised. At seventeen years old, I was finally able to have a bedroom I didn’t fear abandoning at the first sign of a parent’s pay raise or job gone wrong. My dad had retired from the road and was suddenly around all the time. I began to straighten myself out. Life was good. For us. A year after I moved in with my dad, my mom died. Car accident. She’d been driving alone. She’d had a small U-Haul trailer attached to the car, so it was clear she was on her way to a new job site. It was late, and she went off the side of a cliff. Of course, I blamed myself. She’d never moved anywhere by herself. I’d always been with her. I’d helped her stay awake on the road either singing along to our favorite tunes or reading to her from whatever novel she could pick up at a gas station.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kalina said.
“I’m fine,” he said and chuckled. “Really. I think picking up and moving so often gave me the rare ability to ditch old memories and quickly form new ones. I think I like the ones I’m forming right now.”
She returned her head to its spot against his chest. The song was winding down and she knew the next one would have to be something more upbeat. Their conversation was almost over unless they went someplace quieter to talk.
“You know what’s the most interesting?” Rafe asked. “Thinking back about the time spent with my mom and the time spent with my dad…I hated being with my mom so much. And that’s what does break my heart…”
His voice trailed off and Kalina looked up to see that his eyes were moist. He was fighting back tears.
“Because now that I’m older and wiser,” he said with another chuckle. “all that time spent with my mom is what I cherish most. I loved that fucking life with her. I don’t know why I made myself believe I didn’t. It’s like I was trying to be like other teenagers and formed a fake wall of disappointment. Maybe I wanted to be that angst-filled youth. She loved me so much and I loved her too. We had a hell of a time on our journeys. What I learned most is, when you find one person you truly love and trust…when you find that connection, that ability to have fun and keep secrets and laugh at inside jokes that nobody else in the world would ever be able to figure out…you have to protect that. Never let it go. Do you know what I mean?”
Kalina looked into his eyes and she wanted to climb inside him, to truly feel his pain, to know him as deeply as anyone in the world might be able to know him. She wanted that. She needed to be so connected to him that nothing could break it. She had to believe that he would fight to protect their relationship. That she would become the one thing that could make him forget everything else.
Also, she wondered if she could love him without turning him into one of her kind. Could he remain faithful to a woman who turned into a monstrous beast whenever she touched saltwater? Would he want to kiss her knowing she’d swam through the ocean and scooped up raw fish in her mouth? Could he be with her knowing that half her time was spent naked among her friends? Dating her would be like being with someone from a nudist colony who also happened to morph into one of man’s greatest nightmares. Snakes might
