Teal eyes searching mine, water dripping off his soaked face and hair as he hovered over me.
You’re alive. Just breathe.
Weston was just as worried about keeping me alive then as he was with Jorn today, and he didn’t even know me then.
“I did what I had to do, princess.”
I’m starting to feel like these are the words Weston lives by. Everything he does is for everyone around him. Maybe he truly doesn’t have an ulterior motive, some hidden plan that he’s coercing everyone to be part of. Every decision, every action is what he believes he has to do as the captain, to keep everyone safe.
“You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, you know,” I say.
“If I don’t, who will?”
I glance back up at him then. His face is still drawn, not as harshly as it was before, but it’s clear he doesn’t see any option other than him bearing the responsibility.
“And what would happen to them?” he continues, nodding toward the crew all around the Oasis. “Every single one of them is my responsibility, even if they don’t necessarily want to be. I can’t count on someone else to do what is best for them.”
Words escape me. He doesn’t know I understand that responsibility more than anyone here, the kind that is thrust upon you, and you don’t know if you are capable of it. Theresponsibility for the well-being of everyone, even if it is at the detriment of yourself. The selfless responsibility, to put everyone else’s needs before your own.
Maybe Weston and I understand each other a little more than I thought.
Now that I’ve seen what happened with Jorn, what was so close to being my fate, and knowing he threw himself into danger to make sure I survived, I can’t keep the words in any longer.
“Thank you for saving me.”
He finally looks over at me, a small smirk turning up his lips. “I thought you said you were never going to thank me for that.”
I roll my eyes. “Will you just accept it and stop being an ass about it? I’m trying to be nice.”
He chuckles softly, then turns back toward the pool. “You don’t need to thank me, princess.”
“I am anyway.”
We stay sitting in companionable silence, bare shoulders pressed together, watching everyone around us enjoy the rest of the day, until Fin comes running back over, begging me to watch him try to flip into the pool. It feels like an excuse to leave Weston’s side, and I know it has been long enough to confuse all my thoughts all over again. Fin drags me by the hand off the beach, and I perch on a rock with my feet dangling into the cool water.
Maybe eternity won’t be so bad if this is what it looks like, surrounded by a bunch of people who watch out for each other, and generally want to be with one another.
I thought my time as a Voyager was everything I ever wanted in life, but looking around now, I realize how different it is. Their time on Dawnlin is full of fear and purpose, but so much of it is solitary. The Castaways try to make the best of their time, livingthe stagnant life as best they can, while still having hope that they can return home, despite being empty-handed.
I’ve listened to everything Dane says, heard his stories and arguments, and I believed them. But after living among them, being brought into their crew, treated as an equal and trusted, I just don’t know if I believe it anymore. I’m getting the impression that the monster Dane painted Weston to be is the exact opposite, and instead he’s a man who truly cares about the well-being of every single Castaway, and wants to make sure that their time here is enjoyable and safe.
Because none of us really knows how long forever will be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
After the events yesterday, I volunteered to cover Jorn’s lookout shift so he could rest and recover, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t also need the time away from Weston. He agreed to let me switch without an argument, so Sig and I head to the lookout just before dawn.
Watching everything unfold at the Oasis, and sitting with Weston after, knowing now exactly how he saved me and how close to death I was, kept me lying awake in bed well into the night, unable to quiet my mind. I just can’t make sense of how someone who would risk themselves to save a stranger matches up with Dane’s warnings. Weston would have to be playing a game so deep and so manipulative if his motivations back then were solely to have one more chance at stealing the waters.
Deep down, I just don’t think that is true.
I also can’t help but wonder what happened between Weston and Dane that caused such friction that Dane’s perception would be so skewed. And what happened to cause that scar?
Would my mind change about either of them if I find out the truth?
I hoist myself through the trapdoor behind Sig as she sits on the rail with the direct view of the mountain, feet crossed out in front of her.
Now that we’re alone, I can finally make sure she’s doing alright. She’s never shown that much emotion before, and quickly buttoned it up just like Weston does as soon as everything was back to normal. But just like with Weston, I want to be there for her the same way she’s been there for me.
