“How are you doing after yesterday?” I ask, and hop up on the rail across from her.
She lets out a deep sigh. “Fine. It’s never easy, but I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that this isn’t the first time it’s happened.”
I huff a laugh and shake my head. “I haven’t known him very long, but with Jorn, I am not at all surprised.”
She shakes her head and rolls her eyes, the hint of a smile on her lips.
“What’s going to happen with you two? You know, if we get back.”
“I don’t know,” she murmurs quietly. “Probably nothing. He’ll go back to his kingdom, and me to mine.”
“Would either of you change your mind and follow? You seem like you care about each other. Why would that change just because we make it home?”
She stares off toward the mountain. “It’s not that simple,” she says, her head swiveling toward me, her eyes filled with sorrow. “Not when you aren’t the one that can decide who you marry.”
I search her face, confused. “Why wouldn’t you be able to marry Jorn? The only time I’ve ever heard that happening is if…” My voice trails off as what she said clicks.
Sig is royal.
Just like me.
My mind reels, and I grip onto the railing tighter. Names of the ruling families shuffle through it until I remember.
Berrendahr.
The seaside kingdom that shares a border with Blackwood. The kingdom Sig is from.
“Otin,” I whisper. “Signee Otin.”
She nods slowly, watching me figure it out.
“My father is the king. Well, I assume my brother is now.”
Zyke Otin, the king that stepped into power after his father fell ill, is her brother. He isn’t much older than my father, still a young king in the spectrum of our world.
“Zyke is king now.” I don’t explain how I know. The lines and names of the royal families of other kingdoms isn’t common knowledge for someone who is a maid in the castle. I thought I was the only one, but now I know there could be others hiding among not only the Castaways, but the Voyagers too. Keeping the royal lineage hidden wasn’t only my decision, Sig did too. And there could be more.
She nods solemnly. “I knew, deep down, but hearing it isn’t easy.” A tear falls down her cheek, and I cross the space to wrap my arms around her. She squeezes me for a second before releasing me and swiping her hands under her eyes.
It wasn’t my intention to bring her more pain after what sh dealt with yesterday, but I’m glad it happened. Sig trusts me enough to tell me more about who she is back home. I thought I would feel elated when that happened, like I’d finally accomplished my goal, but it hasn’t been on my mind at all.
I can’t even remember when I stopped thinking about it. I’ve just been living, and learning, and truly getting to know everyone, and it’s just… felt right.
“Why not stay here, then?” I ask. “Why go back when you can be happy with Jorn and live in paradise?”
She speaks slowly, choosing her words carefully. “I’ve been here a long time, and while I love every person on that ship, living stuck in time for eternity isn’t the way I want to live. I don’t want to be deprived of what it is to actuallylive. I want to experience what it is to be human. I want to know what it feels like to grow old, and have a family, even if it isn’t with who I would choose.”
Her words hit me like a slap across the face, but she continues before I can say anything.
“If my fate is to remain here, with all of you, then I will live the best life I can, and mourn the loss of what I thought I would have. But when it comes down to it, I wouldn’t choose it. I don’t think any of us were truly meant to stay here forever. This place is meant to help us save someone we love, which means we return home. That’s why I have hope Dawnlin will let us.”
When I’d been deemed unworthy, my first decision was to remain here with Dane. If I didn’t have my mother, I had nothing else to return to. My life in Blackwood was not better than the one I had found here, filled with all the experiences and relationships I’d only dreamed of.
Sig’s perspective shocks me back into reality. My life in the castle is unfulfilling because I didn’t have any of the experiences I wanted, and didn’t think I ever would. But here, I truly wouldn’t.
My life as the future queen may not have been exactly as I hoped, but it was still my life, and I could live it.
And I could change it.
