It was Maylin’s turn again.“The women in the kitchen said you haven’t been eating enough.”
If roaring would’ve helped, I’d have done it.If running in the opposite direction worked, I’d have tried that too.To hold back a growl that might have exploded into a roar, I bit my tongue so hard I wouldn’t have been surprised if blood dripped from my mouth.
“The women in the kitchen want nothing to do with me,” I said in a stilted voice that would have warned anyone else away.“They’re scared to death of who they think I’ve become.”On a bright note, there had been no additional demands from them and no further threats to strike since the stories of my Nova form became public knowledge.If a smile could pass my lips today, I would have smiled at the thought.
“They’re worried if you don’t eat enough, you might eat them and their children,” Missy said.
“They are being as ridiculous as fuck.”A.K.A., do not fuck with me.
Missy touched my arm, something no one but King did.Ms.Beast grumbled, and in my head, I rearranged her face into a bloody mess until she had to be dragged away for medical attention.
“You’re blaming yourself for the attack.”Missy’s eyes filled with pity, and I went from biting my lip to licking it at the thought of tearing her face off, not just damaging it.
Shit.What the hell was going on inside my head?
I faced Missy full on.Even though she avoided meeting my eyes, Kedorine 5 spiked inside me suddenly, and I realized this could end badly.These were my friends, and I was completely losing it.“I’m in charge, and that makes the attack my fault.The buck stops here.”I understood this part of leadership perfectly.The person at the top always took responsibility.I was now in charge.End of discussion.
Then it was Maylin’s turn to tempt fate.“No, it’s no one’s fault, Marinah.We need you, but it’s like you’ve checked out.”
I hadn’t “checked out,” even though King had said almost the same thing to me last night.The rage.It ate me alive, and I couldn’t see past it.
Maylin stubbornly held my gaze, and the Kedorine 5 spiked higher.I went back to biting my lip so I wouldn’t actually tear her head off.I reminded myself that she was Che and Baby Boot’s mother.I did not want her dead.I could not bite her head off.I took a slow breath, trying to bring sense into my thoughts.This wasn’t Ms.Beast leading me.It couldn’t be.I had no idea where this killing rage was coming from.Had my mind snapped?It seemed like a reasonable explanation.
Missy, for some reason, would not give up.How could she not realize she was playing with deadly fire?When I exploded, she couldn’t be anywhere near me.
“Cosway suggests meditation,” she said in a soothing voice that irritated me back into the rage I was trying so hard to contain.“She’s been using it, and it helps her.”
Cosway was responsible for this nonsense.“She’s crazy,” I said slowly.Missy’s jaw tensed, and from this new, less soothing expression, she had no intention of backing down.I took a step into her personal space.My eyes burned from within because I could feel it.They silently communicated that Missy’s life was in danger.“Do.You.Want.Me.To kill you?”My grip on my beast side was a hair below where I could pull it back.
From her expression, my threat was a spectacular failure.These women were married to hardheaded Shadow Warriors, and they didn’t seem to grasp the danger they were in right now.“I want you to lead,” Missy encouraged.“To do that, you need to eat.Once you eat, you’ll be able to think rationally.”
The stubborn fool.Too bad she wouldn’t look as pretty without a nose.The sympathy in both their eyes was more than I could take.
The walls of the citadel had felt my boot these past few days.The Warriors walked on eggshells.King purposely kept as much distance between them and me as possible.It was the reason I’d called the meeting I was attempting to go to now.I couldn’t stop swinging between rage, sorrow, and frustration.The only explanation I had was that my Nova form was wreaking havoc inside me.I simply didn’t understand, and it drove me nuts.Even I didn’t want to be around me.
With a loud growl I didn’t bother containing, I grabbed Missy’s hips, lifted her aside, and stomped away.I didn’t kill her, and that was the biggest concession I could make right now.Each stomp became a count inside my head.Three, six, nine.Maybe it would calm me enough to get through the coming meeting without spilling blood I so badly wanted on my hands.
The rumble of my guards’ voices reached me before I opened the door and stepped inside.As soon as they saw me, the room fell silent.I would swear they were holding their collective breaths.King met my eyes, his chin tipping down regally, but he didn’t look away.I would’ve sworn he was challenging me.Ms.Beast, of course, couldn’t have cared less.
“Are you trying to set me off before the meeting starts?”I demanded through teeth that jammed together as soon as the words left my throat.
His gaze slid away.“Just a check to see where you’re at.”
“I’m here, and we’re having a meeting,” I all but yelled, slamming my butt into the chair.I emphasized “the” because it had been King’s chair, and now it was mine, which didn’t make me any happier.“We have a missing Shadow Warrior, no information on his whereabouts, and no word from the Federation.Ideas?”I looked around the room.“Anyone?”I growled.
Beck, in all his idiocy, decided to be the brave Shadow Warrior among them.“It only makes sense that they want a Shadow Warrior to experiment on.”
My eyes snapped to his.Stress lined his expression, and the dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn’t slept.I forced myself to take a slow, deep breath.“Okay, Sherlock, why do you think they took him to experiment on?”
“If not to experiment, then they want inside information.”
“Torture,” I said.The word he’d been avoiding hit the room like a stone.Losing a Shadow Warrior was one thing.Picturing torture and knowing it was quite possible were entirely different.The Federation saw us as animals, and to them, Knet was nothing more than a lab rat.
Beck’s eyes dropped to the floor, but I noticed the subtle tightening of his fists on the table as he spoke.“Knet is dead to us, and we need to prepare for a large-scale attack from the Federation.”
Kill.The Kedorine 5 exploded within me, and the world turned murky gray.Ms.Beast slammed through my defenses, and I was no longer in control.With a loud growl, I leapt across the table and locked my jaws around Beck’s neck, ready to pull back with the contents of his throat caught in my fangs.
King grabbed my head and slammed his fist into my jaw.I released Beck and snapped at King, my rage igniting into a blazing inferno.A dark wall of red mist clouded my vision as Nokita quickly dragged Beck away.I growled in his direction, and Nokita froze in place.
