“You’re not keeping us,” I assured her.
Mom looked at me through uncertain eyes. She was especially nervous, glancing back and forth from me to Grace. “Are you girls from the church?”
“No, Mama. We’re just here to visit,” I said.
“I’m going to miss you, Grandma.” Grace smiled over at her grandmother as she fussed with the daisies in the vase, arranging them perfectly. “But I’ll be back soon, and Mom will be visiting you every week, just like always.”
We tried to stick to a routine when visiting my mother. For Alzheimer’s patients, a routine was extremely important. We generally came on Thursday evenings, but with Grace leaving the next day, we had to move our visit to Sunday.
“You’re such a sweet girl,” Mom said to Grace. “What’s your name again, dear?”
Grace’s face fell. I knew she had been hoping for one of those good days before she left for England, but those good days had become few and far between.
Before she could answer, Mom had turned her attention back to the clock. “My James will be here soon. He’s always on time. Have you girls met my husband?”
I nodded. “We have. He’s an amazing guy. You’re so lucky to have each other.” And they had been. My mother’s Alzheimer’s had started early. She was only fifty-two when she’d gone to the store one morning to pick up some milk and forgotten how to get home. She’d panicked, but luckily remembered her phone number that she had the cashier call. That day was the day that changed everything.
“We’re lucky,” Mom replied. “So lucky. James will be here shortly. He’s always on time.”
I sighed and watched as my mother stood and used her walker to maneuver to the window that overlooked the parking lot. Her once blonde hair was now white and kept in a bob that grazed her shoulders. Her skin was thinner than it used to be, and the disease had aged her beyond her years, but she was still beautiful.
“Why are there so many cars here?” Mom started to panic, clutching at the wool of her cardigan. “My husband should be here by now. James should be home.” I nodded a silent request to Grace who quietly picked up the room phone to call the nurse’s station.
“Mom,” I said softly as I approached her. “It’s okay. Come finish your lunch.” I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, but when she looked up at me, I knew it was a mistake.
“Who are you? Where is my husband?” Her voice was shrill and panicked, and I could see that she was breathing harder.
The door opened, and her favorite nurse Nicole strolled in. “Hey, Miss Betty,” she greeted. She looked to me with an empathetic smile. Mom didn’t always know who Nicole was, but when she got like this, it was Nicole who was able to calm her. “You’ve had some good visitors this afternoon, huh?”
Mom looked to Nicole with relief. “Can you help me find James? He should be here by now.”
“Why don’t you come have a seat over here in the chair, and let me take a look at you?” Nicole asked. “I understand you’re worried, but I’m here to help.”
My mother looked at her with uncertain eyes for a moment before allowing Nicole to guide her over to the armchair.
Mom grabbed Nicole’s hand. “James should be here. He was picking up Ella from daycare.”
I blinked back the tears that threatened to form in my eyes and swallowed down the lump that lodged itself in my throat.
“Don’t you worry, Miss Betty,” Nicole said. “I’m going to take care of everything. Alright? You just breathe in real deep for me. In and out. Good.” I watched as Nicole calmed my mother before turning on the television, flipping the channel until she landed on an old showing ofBreakfast At Tiffany’s. In moments, she was immersed in the movie, and James and baby Ella were forgotten.
Nicole patted my mom on the shoulder before turning to Grace and me.
“She’s having more days like this, isn’t she?” I asked. “She’s getting worse.”
Nicole pressed her lips together and nodded. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better. I watched my own grandfather go through it too. I know how hard it is to see her like this.”
“We couldn’t do this without you,” I told her, and I meant it. Nicole had been our saving grace ever since Mom had been placed at Richland. “You take such good care of her. And us.”
“I hate that she doesn’t know who we are anymore.” Grace chewed her bottom lip.
Nicole placed a hand on Grace’s arm. “She knows, sweetheart. Deep down she knows. The part of her that’s still Betty loves you both more than anything in this world. The rest of this? That’s the illness talking. You’ve got to remember that.”
I cleared my throat, suddenly desperate to get out of the confines of the room. “We should probably head out.” I turned to Grace. “Let’s go home and get you packed.”
“That’s right. You’re about to be leavin’ on a jet plane.” Nicole smiled. “You travel safe, and we’ll see you when you get back. And I’ll see you next week, Ella.”
I nodded, and Grace glanced back at my mom with a wistful expression on her face. Mom was deeply involved in the movie, seemingly oblivious to our presence anymore.
