I put an arm around Grace and steered her from the room as she leaned into me. After difficult visits like this one, we would spend the rest of our evening together trying to take our minds off of it. We’d curl up on the couch and watch reruns of our favorite shows in quiet appreciation that we still had each other.
I knew there was nothing I could say to make her feel better about my mom’s condition because there wasn’t anything that could make me feel better. Grace was my rock, the one constant in my life, and she was about to be thousands of miles away. I’d still visit weekly, but instead of going home to Grace, I’d be going home to an emptiness that only seemed to be growing.
As we got into my SUV, I checked my phone, hopeful there would be a message from Cash waiting for me. When I saw I had no unread messages or missed calls, annoyance pricked at the inside of my chest, and then I felt the heaviness in my heart begin to close in.
* * *
“I don’t carewhat anyone says. Dan Humphrey is a turd.” I flopped on Grace’s bed after binge watching several hours worth ofGossip Girland helping her pack. “He never deserved Serena.”
Grace zipped her large plaid suitcase and rolled it over to where her carry on bag was propped near her bedroom door. “You are entitled to your wrong opinion.” She crawled in the bed, curling up next to me. She pulled her phone from her pocket, seeming to check something and gave a discontented sigh.
“What’s wrong?” I leaned my head against hers.
“I texted Cash earlier to tell him goodbye, but I never heard anything back from him,” she said. “I hope he’s not regretting suggesting me for this job.”
My chest tightened, and that annoyance I’d felt earlier in the day started to grow. “I’m sure he’s just busy.”
I’d checked my phone no less than twenty times and still had no messages or missed calls from Cash. Finding out he wasn’t responding to Grace either was enough to make my blood boil and my Mama bear claws come out. Though to be fair, I had nobody to blame but myself. I knew getting involved with Grace’s boss was a bad idea, but I guess I’d expected more from him.
This was Cash we were talking about. Cash was thoughtful and considerate. He wasn’t like Ryan who ditched a date early to go hiking the next day. It was par for the course when the Ryans of the world didn’t text or call, but when it was Cash, it felt all wrong.
When he’d left, or more accurately, when I’d pushed him out the window, things had felt… different? No, I didn’t exactly know where we stood at that moment, but I’d thought there might be a very real conversation about what happened. Or at the very least a text. His silence had begun to feel like its own answer to the question hanging over my head of what we were or weren’t. I knew I had to reach out and make sure he didn’t shut Grace out over a mistake we had made.That’s what it was right? A mistake?
“I wonder how Aunt Liv and Jax are doing with the kids,” Grace said, wrapping her arms around me.
I shifted my focus to soaking up these last few moments with Grace. “I haven’t heard from her since earlier. I wanted to give them a little space to get settled in before I called.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to miss all of this while I’m gone.” Her voice was small as she nestled closer to me. “It kind of makes me wish I wasn’t going.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” Selfishly, I hoped she was, but I also knew that Grace needed this. She needed to step out on her own a little.
She shook her head. “I just wish I could be there and here at the same time. I feel like I’m missing out on so much.”
“We’ll all be here when you get back,” I promised.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Me?” I asked. “What are you worried about me for?”
“This is going to be the first time you’ve been alone in a long time.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster. “I’ll be busy at the bakery with the renovations, and you know I’ll be calling to bug you all the time. These three months are going to fly by. And if Sam steps even the slightest bit out of line, I’m going to hop on the Hogwarts Express and make a trip to jolly ole England just to whoop his ass.”
She laughed. “Sam’s a good guy, Mom, and don’t worry. He keeps things very professional.”
“He better.”
“I’m going to miss you, Mama.” My heart swelled. She hadn’t called me ‘Mama’ in years, and suddenly I longed for the days when she was small enough for me to fold her in my arms and keep her safe.
I blinked away the tears that attempted to form in my eyes. “I’m going to miss you too, honey. I better let you get some sleep. You’ve got a big travel day ahead tomorrow, and we’ve got an early start.” I kissed the top of her head and pulled out of her grasp.
“I love you, Mom,” she said as she climbed under the covers.
“Love you too.” I made my way to the door, flicking off the light. I looked back at Grace one more time before shutting the door, and my heart felt heavy again.
As I padded back to my room, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and illuminated the screen. There was still no message from Cash. I huffed and threw myself back on my bed, scrolling through my contacts until I landed on Cash’s name.
I cleared my throat, preparing myself for the call I knew I had to make. I had to nip this in the bud.We’ll just pretend it never happened, and everything will go back to normal.
