His hand was warm when he laced his fingers through mine. Bradley Cooper trailed behind us as Cash guided me back to the laundry room. Once inside, he released my hand and reached for the tool bag we’d left on the floor by the washer.
“You’re a man of many talents, Cash,” I said, leaning against the door frame. “You can sing, you can dance,andyou can rescue a damsel who’s in distress over a washing machine. What can’t you do?”
He smiled at me over his shoulder as he set to work on the washer, screwdriver in hand. “Identify any celebrity in a lineup.”
“Accurate.” I craned my neck slightly to get a better view of his forearms at work. His muscles flexed and tightened, and I could see the outline of his bicep with each twist of the screwdriver. “Thank you for doing this, by the way. Not just for being here and fixing it, but for not thinking I was a weirdo for being upset over a stupid washing machine.”
His eyes found mine. “It’s not weird at all. I get it. I think we often take for granted how many memories live inside everyday things. For me, it was this red tea kettle Carrie used. I never had a taste for tea, but she loved it. She had an entire drawer devoted to these exotics teas. Smelled like a damn jar of potpuri. Every night, she made a cup of tea before bed. The sound of that kettle whistling was like nails on a chalkboard to me. But I’d kill to hear it again.”
“You never boil water in it, you know, just to hear it?”
He shook his head. “I keep the kettle on the stove. Even though Carrie never lived in this house, having that beat-up old kettle on the stove somehow makes it feel more like home.”
“Was it hard? Leaving the home you shared together?” I asked.
He chewed his lip thoughtfully. “Yes and no. Yes because everywhere I looked, I saw her there.”
“And no?”
“Because everywhere I looked, I saw her there.”
It felt like a hand had closed tight around my heart. “I still see Craig here too. Honestly, I’ve thought about moving dozens of times. I hate keeping up the yard, and when Grace does decide to break my heart and permanently leave the nest, this will be more house than I really need. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to bring myself to move. This house is one of the few things Grace has left of her dad. I want her to always have this to come back to.”
Cash gave me an empathetic smile. “It’s important to have things or places or even people that we can visit when we need to be reminded of those we lost. I’m still close to my in-laws. My dad died in a car accident when I was seven, and my mom… well, she never really bounced back from that. She started drinking, and at first, she hid it well. But by the time I turned thirteen, I was coming home from school and cooking dinner for us both. I had to wake her up so she could get to work on time. By the time I went to college, she couldn’t hold down a job for more than six months at a time. My junior year of college she got diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. She passed a year after I graduated.”
“I’m so sorry, Cash,” I said. “Did you have any other family?”
“No siblings and my aunt and uncle really washed their hands of my mom, and by default, me. My grandparents passed when I was little. So, when Carrie and I got married, her family kind of took me in.”
“That’s really sweet. What are they like?”
He grinned. “Her dad, Richard, is a high school principal, and her mom, Delilah is actually a romance novelist. Or she was. She’s retired now.”
“No way! Wait… romance novelist… Delilah…” My eyes widened. “Is your mother-in-law Delilah Davis?”
“That’s her. Do you read her stuff?”
“I definitely read a few of her books growing up, but that’s because my mom loves—um, loved her.” I could picture my mom curled up on the couch with one of her treasured romance novels, worn and dog-eared. “She doesn’t really read anymore. She has Alzheimer’s.”
Cash’s forehead wrinkled with concern. “Damn, Ella. I’m sorry. She… she’s got to be so young, though, right?”
I nodded. “It was early onset.”
“And your dad?”
“He passed eight years ago. Heart attack.” I gave him a wistful smile. “I’m an only child too, so it’s just Mom, Grace, and me. And now Bradley Cooper, of course.”
“I can’t imagine how hard that’s been for you.”
I shrugged. “It has been. But it was harder back when dad was alive when I had to watch him go through this as her husband. When you take vows and say that whole ‘for better or worse’ thing, you hope that worse won’t ever come. You hope that your ‘worse’ will have a little mercy on you. For my dad, worse was reminding my mom of who he was when she forgot. Until even worse came and he had to remind her of whoshewas when she forgot.”
He placed the screwdriver on top of the closed washer and crossed the room until he was standing in front of me. Bradley Cooper looked up at us from his spot on the floor, and Cash placed a hand on my arm.
“I was always in awe of what he did. He never once lost his patience. He never complained about the hand they’d been dealt.” I looked down at my feet, twisting the sole of my shoe into the checkered tile. “One day, I asked him how he did it all without falling apart. He said on the good days it was like he had his wife back and no time had passed. On the bad days, he said he got to spend hours just reliving their lives together and reminiscing about the woman he fell in love with. He told me it was a small price to pay for the love of a lifetime.”
“I would have to agree with him,” Cash said softly. “Getting to hold the hand of someone you love when it feels like the world is falling apart is… well, it’s a privilege.”
“It is.” I swallowed hard as I looked up into his warm face. I paused a moment, unsure of the question I was about to ask or why I was asking it. “Would you want to do it again? Even knowing what you know now?”
