He cocked his head to the side as though he were thinking, and sadness flickered in his hazel eyes. “After Carrie passed, the idea of falling in love again felt about as likely as getting struck by lightning twice. I didn’t believe it was possible. But lately...” His words trailed off, but he held me tight within his gaze.
It was like every bit of moisture left my mouth all at once. I wanted to speak, to say something,anything,but it seemed that my words had dried up too. The space between us dissipated as his hand found my cheek, and the smoothness of his thumb stroked my skin.
I wanted to kiss him, though I was also hyperaware of the fact that this man had witnessed me have a breakdown over an appliance and everything it meant to me. But it didn’t scare him off or weird him out. He’d understood, and that made him even sexier, which was no easy task considering how fucking amazing his forearms were.
“Lately?” I prodded him to finish his sentence.
“Lately I feel like I have something to believe in.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and the warm of his breath sent electricity through my veins. “Ella, I know you said you needed some time to think things over, and I want to respect your wishes. But I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?”
I nodded, and his lips touched mine, soft as a whisper.
I wanted to launch myself at him like a spider monkey. I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist, tangle my hands in his hair, and let him carry me to my bedroom. But I kept both feet planted firmly on the ground.
Maybe it was because I wasn’t ready for whatever this thing with Cash was, or maybe it was because I had something worth believing in too.
All I knew was that if I was going to jump in with both feet, I wanted to be sure.
Twelve
Cash
I woketo what felt like an ice cube on my arm followed by a soft whine. When I rolled over, I nearly fell off the couch and directly onto Bradley Cooper who was watching me expectantly through eyelashes that looked like they belonged on a muppet. I blinked a few times and registered that I was in Ella’s living room. A colorful throw blanket I hadn’t seen before was tucked around me, and Ella was nowhere to be seen. She must have woken in the night and gone to her bed, but not before covering me up and turning the television off.
The night before started to replay in my mind, hazy like the morning sun. After we had dinner and I’d finished repairing the washing machine, Ella made some popcorn, and we started a Bradley Cooper movie marathon. She was insistent upon educating me on all things pop culture, and she felt that Bradley Cooper was where we needed to start. We’d laughed our way throughThe Hangoverand kissed throughSilver Linings Playbook.By the time we started the one where his friend gave him a pill that made him a genius, Ella had snuggled into my chest, and soon we fell asleep.
Something felt different between us. When we’d kissed in the laundry room, it was as though some invisible barrier had been removed. It felt like Ella might be open to seeing what we could be. The first night we were together felt like an explosion, but it seemed that initial fire had become a slow and steady blaze.
Bradley Cooper pulled me from my thoughts with a dissatisfied huff as he touched his nose to my arm again.
I reached out and ruffled the wiry hair atop his head before grabbing my phone from the end table. The screen illuminated to show that it was a little after seven a.m. “You need to go out, Bradley Cooper?”
He gave one quick, sharp bark. I never had a dog of my own before, but I took that bark to mean he needed to go out.
“Okay, okay,” I whispered. “I’ll take you. Let your mom sleep.” I tossed the blanket off of me, and Bradley bolted through the house, paws clicking against the hardwood. I shoved my phone in my pocket and moved quietly behind him until I found him in the kitchen waiting at the back door.
He scratched his paw against the wood.
“Alright, buddy.” I opened the door, and he darted out into the grass. I watched from the back porch as he did his business before bounding back to me. “Good boy.”
We went back inside, and the scruffy pup immediately ran to his empty food bowl and gave an annoyed snort.
“You’re ready for some breakfast, huh, bud?” I glanced around the cozy kitchen in search of the dog’s kibble. I moved quietly to a narrow door on the other side of the refrigerator that I assumed was the pantry and opened it. “Jackpot.” A clear container sat on the floor inside the pantry, and I could see before I even removed the top that it was filled nearly to the brim with dog food.
Bradley Cooper turned in a circle and whined as I popped open the plastic lid.
“Hang on a second, buddy,” I said, taking the scoop from the container and filling it. The dog’s paws skittered happily against the floor as I carried the food across the room and dumped it in his bowl. He lapped it up eagerly, sending bits of kibble flying across the floor. “Now, to make some breakfast for your mom.”
With Bradley Cooper occupied, I scanned the kitchen counter for the coffeemaker and set to work locating the filters and coffee grounds. Once I got the coffee brewing, I opened the stainless steel fridge and spotted some eggs and turkey bacon. I pulled my phone from my pocket and found my favorite Frank Sinatra playlist, setting it to play softly as I located the skillets and removed them from the cabinets, careful not to make much noise. While the bacon was frying and the eggs were cooking, I retrieved some wheat bread from the pantry and popped a couple of pieces in the toaster.
I was humming along to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” when the coffee finished percolating. I pulled a couple of oversized mugs from the cabinet above the coffeemaker. One said ‘BUT FIRST COFFEE’ and the other said ‘THERE’S PROBABLY WINE IN HERE.’ Chuckling, I poured coffee into both. I breathed in the smell of hazelnut and maple as I brought one of the mugs to my lips and took a sip.
Bradley Cooper finished his breakfast, licking up every morsel he spilled onto the floor before watching me locate the plates and silverware. His big brown eyes widened as I transferred the food to the plates.
“Don’t look at me like I didn’t just feed you,” I said with a laugh. He watched as I retrieved the half and half from the fridge and poured it into Ella's mug. “Your mom said she likes her coffee with more cream than coffee.” The dog’s ears perked as though I’d told him a secret. I examined the liquid in the cup that had gone from black to the color of a vanilla milkshake. “That should do it. What do you think, Bradley Cooper?” He cocked his head to the side and let out a soft yelp. “I’ll take that as your approval.”
“What’s all this?” Ella’s voice came from the entryway to the kitchen, still raspy with sleep. She wore a matching sleep set with an avocado print and the words ‘GUAC IS EXTRA AND SO AM I’ in big letters across the front. Even with her hair messy and a pillow indentation across her forehead, she made my heart skip a beat.
I glanced at the clock that read seven twenty-eight a.m. “Well, I was about to bring you breakfast in bed, but I know you don’t like it before seven thirty. Coffee?” I extended her mug of nearly white coffee toward her.
