“What do you call what you’re doing right now?” he asked.
I had no defense because I knew he was right. I had abandoned them.
“This isn’t you, Cash.” Derek’s voice softened. “You’re not the guy who leaves when things get tough.”
My chest ached. “Maybe I am.”
Derek sighed into the phone. “So, what’s your plan? Are you going to alienate yourself from everyone who cares about you? Because the only way to keep from losing people is to leave everyone you love.”
Her dad never would have left her. Not if he’d been given a choice.Ella’s words echoed in my mind again and grabbed at the edges of my heart, trying to pull me under.
My voice came out as a hoarse whisper. “I don’t know, Derek. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You need to figure it out,” he said gently.
“She hates me,” I replied. “You should have seen how upset she was. She was furious with me.”
“She’s hurt, Cash,” Derek said. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, but I think love is always worth fighting for.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came.
“Just think about it, alright?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t hear me and ended the call.
I closed my eyes and begged Carrie to tell me what to do. I tried to imagine what she would say if she were there.
My questions were met with an unyielding silence, and the waves crashed around me.
* * *
“How are you doing, son?”Richard asked as I walked through their front door. He gripped my hand in a firm handshake and clapped me on the back.
“I’m sorry it’s so late,” I said.
“Don’t you apologize for a thing, dear,” Delilah’s warm voice sounded like a cozy blanket on a cold day as she rounded the corner into the foyer. “Richard, take his suitcase to the guest room, will you?”
“Woman, give me two seconds to look at the boy, would you?” Richard teased, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
“Oh, I can do that,” I insisted as Richard reached for my suitcase.
“Nonsense.” Richard waved me off, hoisting my rolling bag off the ground. “Gives me an opportunity to show Delilah here that these ole muscles still have a little mileage left in ‘em.”
“Oh, Richard.” Delilah shook her head. “You hush now.” Richard disappeared through the foyer and up the stairs with my suitcase as Delilah took my face in her hands.
“Cash, it’s so good to see you.” She pulled me into a hug, holding on a little longer than usual. “We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I said as she pulled back and looped her arm through mine.
“Come on. Let’s go sit in the living room and talk.” She smiled at me as she guided me beyond the foyer to the den that was decorated in shades of brown and tan with dozens of framed photos on the walls. The scent of banana bread and fresh cut flowers mingled in the air. “Can I make you some tea?”
“No thanks. I’m okay.” I took a seat at the end of the tufted beige sofa, and she sat beside me.
Richard wheezed a little as he returned down the stairs, and I instantly felt horrible for letting him carry my suitcase, even though he hadn’t given me much choice.
“I’ve been telling Richard he needs to go to water aerobics with me,” Delilah commented, taking note of Richard’s heavy breathing.
He scoffed as he ambled over to the matching recliner, slowly lowering into it. “The only thing that could possibly be more boring than that is going with you to one of your luncheons. I’d rather gouge out my eyeballs.”
