Delilah rolled her eyes. “It’s good for your heart.”
“This ticker is top notch.” Richard patted his chest. “It just runs a little slower than it used to is all.”
Delilah turned her attention to me and placed her hand on my knee. “Now, tell me, dear, how are you?”
I hung my head, trying to figure out where to start. “I met someone.”
“I knew it.” Delilah’s face softened. “It’s Grace’s mom, isn’t it? I told Richard I had a feeling.”
I nodded, the corners of my mouth curved downward.
“That’s great news, son,” Richard said with a smile. “So, why the long face?”
“I’m afraid I’ve messed things up,” I admitted. “I don’t know if they can be fixed.”
“Well, I doubt that.” Delilah’s tone was tender and kind. “I reckon there’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a little love or a lot of duct tape. That’s what my mama always told me.”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I think it might take more than that.”
“Tell us what happened, dear,” Delilah said.
“Isn’t that… I don’t know, isn’t that painful for you?” I questioned. “For me to ask you for advice about someone who isn’t…” I trailed off. “I just don’t want to hurt either of you.”
“You know we love you as if you’re our own.” Richard leaned forward in his chair. “Part of loving you means we want you to be happy. We want you to have someone you can share your life with.”
“That’s right,” Delilah agreed. “And Carrie wanted that too.”
At the sound of her name the volcano of emotions that had been bubbling inside me spilled out. I told them everything. I explained how my attraction for Ella grew over time and how we connected the night of Jax and Liv’s wedding. The last few weeks we were together played in mind as I relayed every detail.
They listened intently as I described what happened inside me after the accident. I told them what it felt like to see Grace in that hospital bed, and looks of recognition came across both of their faces. They knew exactly what it was like to watch their child helplessly from the sidelines when she was hurt.
Delilah patted my knee, and Richard looked over at me with concern in his eyes when I told them about Sam’s cancer scare and what that had done to me.
“I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I needed to get away and clear my head.” My voice came out strangled. “I thought maybe I could get my mind right and be the man they deserved, but what if I’m just not capable?”
“Of course you are, son,” Richard said.
“All day I’ve been looking for Carrie.” I scrubbed my hand down my face. “I went to all of her favorite places because I needed to be close to her. I needed to feel her. But how can I ever truly move on if I’m always searching for her? If I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the next tragedy to come and take away everyone I care about?”
Delilah studied me for a moment. “Cash, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly. I don’t want you to worry you’ll hurt us with your answer.” I nodded, and she continued. “With all that you know now, and with all of the pain you had to endure from losing Carrie, do you ever wish you hadn’t met her?”
I winced, shaking my head vehemently. “God, no. Of course not.”
“Delilah.” Richard gasped. “What are you getting at?”
Delilah kept her gaze steady on me.
“I’d do it over again in a heartbeat,” I choked out. “I’d give anything for another minute with her.”
“Sweetheart, you’re being given a second chance at happiness right now. Ella and Grace are your second chance.” She gave me a wistful smile and placed her hand on mine. “You suffered a great loss, Cash. Many people go through life for decades without knowing what that kind of earth-shattering loss feels like. That kind of loss… it changes you. But your fear of losing them isn’t there as a warning to make you pull away. It’s there to remind you to hold on tight, that love and hope are always worth it. You didn’t want to leave Ella and Grace. You wanted a guarantee that you’d never know what it feels like to lose them. In doing that, you’ve let them know what it feels like to lose you.”
My shoulders shook, and I buried my head in my hands.
“I still search for her too, you know,” Richard spoke up. “Sometimes I swear I can still feel Carrie with me, especially when I sit out on the back deck in the evenings with a cup of coffee, the way she always loved to do when she was here. I miss her constantly, but I still have hope because I have Delilah. And I have you, Cash, and anyone else you bring into our lives.”
“I’ll never stop loving Carrie,” I whispered.
“Of course you won’t, sweetheart.” Delilah dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “You can miss Carrie but still want to build a future with Ella. Carrie brought you so much happiness, but Ella and Grace will too. Just when you think you don’t have room for more love, your heart always finds a way. That’s the amazing thing about love—it’s infinite.”
