“I know.” I stared straight ahead at an invisible spot on the wall. “But I didn’t want you to be.”
“Why not?” Katie asked.
“Because I don’t fucking deserve it, all right?” I said, rising to my feet. “Everything they’re saying about me online? It’s all true. Every bit of it.”
Dallas leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “I really don’t think that’s the case. Maybe there’s a few kernels of truth, but a couple crappy stories don’t tell everything there is to know about you.”
“What about Brandi?” I asked, throwing up my hands. “I don’t remember much about that night because I was so shit-faced, but what I do know is, I was enough of an asshole to cause Ella to throw her water on me. I wasn’t a good guy, Dallas. I’m still not a good guy.”
“You’re wrong,” Katie insisted, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. “Remember the night of Jo’s big event for Project NENA when I was so sick and she didn’t want to leave me alone?Youwere the one that came and stayed with me. You didn’t just keep me company, either—you took care of me.”
“You were there when we took Katie to the hospital,” Dallas added. “You didn’t have to go, and you certainly didn’t have to stay, but you did.”
“Those were two incidents over the course ofyears,” I argued.
“But there are more where that came from,” Dallas said. “So, you’ve made some bad choices in the past. Done or said shit you regret. Who hasn’t? Have you forgotten what a dick I was back when Derek wanted to leave the band? Or the fact that I blamed Jo for it all because I didn’t want to see the truth?”
“That’s different,” I said, pacing the floor.
“Only because it’s not out there on the damn internet for everyone to see,” he said. “Luca, weallfuck up. We say or do things we wish we could take back. But most people don’t have to do it in front of the whole goddamn world. You need to give yourself a break.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t call you. I knew you’d do this—make excuses for me,” I shouted, my fists clenched at my sides. “Don’t you get it? There’s no fucking excuse. For every bad story out there about me right now, there’s ten more that are worse that nobody will ever know about. ButIknow.”
“You’re holding yourself to impossible standards.” Katie’s voice was soft. “Your mistakes don’t define you. They’re not who you are.”
“The fuck they’re not,” I yelled, whirling to face them. “That’s all I am. A mistake. My own parents knew it, I know it, and I think deep down you all know it too. I’m notgood.”
Tears spilled down Katie’s cheeks as she jumped to her feet and gripped my arms.
“You are not a mistake.” She punctuated every word. “Do you hear me? And anyone who thinks that doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”
Tears blurred my vision. “Ithink that.”
“Then you need to take some time to get to know the man I have the honor of calling one of my best friends.” Her voice broke. “If you could see what I see…what weallsee. You are magic, Luca Sterling. Your thorns are part of what makes you so magnificent. Because even in spite of them, you bloomed.”
I blinked, sending tracks of salt water down my cheeks.
“She’s right, you know.” Dallas rose to join us. “We love you, brother.”
“Damn right, we do,” Katie said as they enveloped me, my body shaking with emotion as I clung to them. I felt like I was free-falling, and they were my emergency parachute—deployed just in the nick of time.
“No more running,” Dallas said, squeezing me tighter. “Let us help you.”
“Please,” Katie whispered. “We can’t lose you.”
I wept so hard I could hardly breathe. Once again, I’d proven myself unworthy, but they didn’t care. They wanted me around, even with my flaws and glaring imperfections. Despite the years of hurt and disappointment I’d caused. They saw something that warranted saving. And if they weren’t willing to give up on me, maybe I could hang on a little longer.
One cup at a time.
“Okay,” I choked out.
“Listen, you need to get some rest,” Dallas said. “Let’s crash, and we’ll talk more in the morning.”
I pulled back, using the neck of my shirt to wipe my face. “You guys don’t have to stay. I’m not a flight risk. Not anymore. You need to get Emilia home.”
“We packed an overnight bag.” Katie squeezed my arm. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“I’ll go grab our stuff,” Dallas said, heading toward the door.
