He holds his hand up to stop me. “Don’t.”
I nod and take a step back.
“Listen, Lindsey, I don’t need you to try to soften the blow or explain it away. If you don’t want to be here, leave.”
My throat constricts. “Okay.”
“Okay.” He scrubs his hands down his face, and I retreat back to the front door with him on my heels.
I pause on the front stoop to look at him once more, and the light in his eyes has dimmed.
He shuts the door with a thud, leaving me standing on his porch, the rain mingling with my tears.
This is how it has to be. I’m better off this way. We both are.
I repeat these thoughts over and over like mantras. If I say them enough, maybe I’ll eventually believe them.
30
MJ
The office isa ghost town Tuesday afternoon, despite the fact that I told Ron I’m swamped, which is the reason I gave when declining every invitation he’s made since Thursday. After finishing my Christmas shopping, I found myself here. My laptop is open, but it’s been so long since I’ve touched it that the screen has gone black.
The quiet is occasionally punctuated by the sound of a ringing phone or someone venturing to the break room for a cup of coffee. The normally bustling space more closely resembles a library with most of the staff getting an early start on their holiday break. We’re technically closed the week of December, so anyone who’s in the office now is here because they want to be.
Perhaps there’s also something or someonethey’re avoiding.
The truth is, this is a slow time of the year for us. People are busy decking the halls and spending time with those they love.
Love.
The word hangs from the center of my mind, dangling like a new air freshener from the rearview mirror, permeating the space around me. I can’t escape it, no matter how hard I try.
“What are you doing here?”
The sudden presence of my daughter-in-law in the doorway of my office makes me jump and let out a high-pitched yelp.
“It’s Christmas Eve Eve,” she continues. “I’m surprised you’re not already baking up a storm.”
“Oh my God, Ellie,” I say with a chuckle, holding my hands to my chest. “You scared me half to death.”
She sits across from me and unwinds the plaid scarf from her neck. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was out running errands and saw your car here, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“Taking care of some last-minute Christmas shopping?” I ask.
“Yeah. I had to pick up stocking stuffers for the kids,” she answers. “And I got some snacks for tonight.”
“Lucy told me earlier that y’all are having a girls night to try to cheer Lindsey up. That’s sweet of you. I know she’ll appreciate it.”
Ellie gives me a sad smile. “I was sorry to hear she stopped seeing Oliver.”
“Me too.”
“He seems like such a great guy, and it’s obvious they care about each other,” she says. “From what Lucy told me, Lindsey’s pretty torn up.”
“She is,” I admit. “What happened the other night really rattled her.”
“I can only imagine, but…” She trails off, closing her mouth before opening it again.
