“You know Alex calls me twice a day to check on you,” he adds after a few minutes. “I’ve suggested he call you to find out, but he said he feels like he’s already caused enough trouble. He’s a good man, Claire.”
“I know.” Looking at him, I add quietly, “He’s an amazing man. One of the best I’ve ever known.” Aiden wraps his hand around my arm, pulling me to a stop.
“You know I love you, but this isn’t how you’re meant to live your life. You need to start thinking about what you want to do. I can’t tell you if that’s a life with Alex or not, but I think he deserves to know one way or the other. I’ll support whatever decision you make, but you need to start thinking about it.” He turns loose of my arm as I nod.
I know that’s all my stoic brother is going to say on the subject, but I know he’s right. I have to talk to Alex as soon as I figure this out. I think about him asking me to hold on to us for him. This time, I don’t shed a single tear when I think about it. I think my mind has always been made up. I don’t remember a life before Alex asked if he could sit down in that library. I know I don’t want to have one without him in it.
That evening I sit in the guest bedroom after dinner staring at my phone. In my head, I calculate that it must be close to two in the morning in England. I know Alex has a game tomorrow, so I can’t wake him up now. I’ll just have to save everything I have to tell him until tomorrow. I set my alarm so I can catch him before he heads to the pitch. I’ve already checked that it’s a home game starting at seven in the evening there.
Setting my phone down on the nightstand, I jump when it starts to ring. Looking at it, I see the picture Alex saved on it all those months ago of us lying in my bed back in my campus apartment. We look so happy in the picture, I wonder if we can ever get back there.
“Hello? Alex?” I answer, worried that something is wrong.
“It’s good tae hear yer voice, Claire,” he says.
“Why are you awake? You have a game today. You need your rest.”
“Are ye scolding me?” he asks, laughing. I feel myself smile at hearing his voice for the first time in a long time.
“Well, someone has to do it. You’re obviously not going to be the adult!” I hear more laughter from the other end before he grows quiet.
“Ye sound good,” he says.
“I feel good.” There is a pause as we both sit in silence.
“Listen, Claire. There are some things I need tae say tae ye.”
“There are some things I need to say to you too, Alex.” I grip the phone hard, wishing with everything I have I was there looking into those expressive blue eyes. Tomorrow, I vow, I will catch the first available flight home to him.
“Okay, but let me say whit I have tae say while I still have the nerve.” He’s silent, waiting for me to protest, but I really want to know what he has to say, so for once, I wait.
“So here it goes. I’ve had my brother, George, tell me three times in my life tae grow a pair of balls and be a man. The first time was when I had tae leave home tae join the Glasgow Rangers. The second time was when ye left and I dinnae know whit tae do. The third time was tonight when he caught me standing by the window staring at yer picture on my phone a wee bit ago.”
“Alex,” I start to stop him. I just want to tell him how much I love him.
“Wait, let me finish,” he says, stopping me. “I’ve been lying here every night wanting tae tell ye how I feel. I’ve told ye repeatedly I love ye but it disnae seem tae be enough. Ye’ve needed me tae come be with ye, but for once, I cannae.” I want to interrupt him again but I clamp my mouth shut.
Closing my eyes, I pray he hasn’t decided to give up on us. I don’t want to go through this life, good or bad, without him.
“So here’s whit I’ve decided. I want tae marry ye Claire if ye’ll have me. I dunno want tae have tae spend my life withoot us together. The club has given us a break in two weeks for a long weekend. I’m gaun tae my parents’ home in the Highlands. If ye want tae marry me, I’ll be waiting for ye at their house at four on the thirtieth.” I’m trying to tell myself to breathe but I can’t seem to manage it. “Are ye still there?”
“Yes,” I answer, my voice barely above a croak.
“I willnae bother ye anymore so ye can decide on yer own. If ye want us tae be together, then marry me by the cliffs there. If naw, then…” I hear his voice break for a moment before he continues. “Then I hope ye find someone that can give ye everything ye want in life. Because ye truly deserve the very best, Claire. All I want is for ye tae be happy, if naw with me, then with someone who can make ye happy. Okay, so I’ll let ye go now. I love ye, Claire,” he says.
“I love you, Alex,” but the line has already gone dead. Tears stream down my face when I walk back into the living room to find Aiden and Felicity. Aiden jumps up from the couch in concern.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asks.
“Nothing’s wrong this time, Aiden. Actually, everything is perfect. I’m marrying Alex in two weeks.” With a squeal, Felicity rushes into my arms, hugging me fiercely as we both cry happy tears. Finally, after weeks of worry clouding his face, I watch as a brilliant smile sweeps across my brother’s face.
“Two weeks!” my mother yells into the phone the next morning when I call her to tell her the news. “Have you lost your mind? We can’t possibly plan a wedding in two weeks.”
“Mom,” I say, trying to stop the tirade. “It’s fine, Alex’s family is hosting it in the Highlands.”
“Where are the Highlands? Is it that gated community outside of Los Angeles?” I laugh. For once, I’m actually enjoying the conversation. It’s crazy to think I’m calling everyone about my wedding when I can’t even tell Alex yes to his proposal.
He’s stepping out on faith that it’s still us conquering the world together. I want to show his trust in me means everything. I want to show up in the afternoon in two weeks because he is everything I deserve, he is what makes me happy. My mind is brought back into focus as my mother’s voice reaches me.
