“Fuck,” he says, slapping it with his palms. He stands very still with his back to me. I watch him in silence for a moment until his shoulders drop. “I’ll just go,” he says, turning toward the door.
“Teddy, wait.” I stand, taking a tentative step toward his back. “Teddy, was last night your first time? Did you wait all these years for me?” I reach out, touching his shoulder.
I feel it bunch underneath my hand as if struck by lightning. He doesn’t answer me, his silence speaking more than any words could. I slowly wrap my arms around his waist.
“Now let me tell you a story.” I take a deep breath, holding on tightly so he can’t turn to look in my face. I don’t think I could survive seeing his pain again. I love him, I will always love him, but he has to understand I can’t be what he needs.
“When I was eighteen, my older sister fell in love with a tall, handsome, ambitious man. He was generous to a fault, a man of character I guess you would call him, and my only sister was madly in love with him.
“One Thanksgiving he came with her to our house, bringing with him an angry, petulant boy. I would watch this boy, looking so lost, as he looked at everyone with hurt in his eyes. Except when he looked at me, the hurt would disappear.
“I knew he had a crush on me, but he was a boy and I was too old for him. He became, through those years, one of my best friends. He was funny, with a very dirty mouth that I secretly loved.”
Teddy stays very still but I can feel his heart beat faster against my palm.
“The summer I graduated from college, I felt adrift as I tried to find my path in life. I decided to visit home as I looked for that path.
“That beautiful, funny boy had turned into a man, with the same long hair that fell in his face, the same blue eyes and dirty mouth. He could still make me laugh, but he could now also make me think. He believed I could conquer the world.
“I fell in love with that man, but he was still so young, so I knew I had to leave him.” I can still feel his heart pounding as he takes in a breath to speak, but I reach up, covering his mouth.
“That man finally saw his potential, accepting a place at a college a world away, so I decided I would forget him. Forget how his eyes darkened with lust when he looked at me. Forget how he held me so gently while I pretended to sleep curled up on the couch.
“I tried to forget him with other men, but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him laying over me, touching my body, making love to me. I took every man that wanted me, because I could never have the man I truly wanted.
“He deserves a home, a wife, and a picket fence, but I want travel, adventure, and danger. Then I learn I’m going to be near him and his draw on me is too much, I have to see him.”
Teddy’s arms reach behind me enveloping me as they pull me tighter against his back.
“We have dinner, we laugh and he invites me back to his room. That boy has now grown into a strong, beautiful man. One look into his eyes, the color of a Caribbean sea, and I’m lost.
“He takes me into his arms, but he’s not scared to touch me now. He makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world. He makes me feel beautiful, happy, safe, and loved. He makes me feel whole.”
I turn Teddy slowly to face me, looking up into the face I see every night when I close my eyes.
“Tell me how I can make him give up everything he deserves for me? How can I take a chance on making him unhappy just to keep him close?” I whisper.
Teddy stares at me for a minute as tears stream down my face. He reaches down, gently kissing my tears away.
“Why do you get to decide what I deserve? How do you know we couldn’t both be happy, together?”
He cups my ass in his large hands, lifting me up as a sob escapes my mouth. He gently lowers his mouth to mine as I wind my legs around his waist. I pull back to argue with him, tell him we shouldn’t do this, but he lays a finger against my lips before I can speak.
“I’m done talking.” It’s all he says as he moves me to the bed. I stay silent as he opens my robe before running his hands up my back as he gently lowers me to the comforter. “So beautiful,” he whispers as his hands trace my body.
Sliding his shirt off his shoulders, he slowly unhooks his belt and kicks off his shoes. I inhale sharply when he frees his manhood, strong and proud as it curves toward his abdomen. If I live to be a hundred, I could never get enough of seeing his body with its hard planes as it moves over my soft one.
He climbs up my body, levering himself on top of me. Gently, he pushes my thighs open as he settles his hips between them and enters me in slow, agonizing thrusts. He’s not fast or frantic, he simply starts a slow rhythm inside me.
“I can only be happy with you,” he whispers as I arch up toward him, my body wanting more. “I was put on this earth for you.” A tear runs down my face as another sob escapes. “I am the only man that can ever make you happy, that can ever love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
I wrap my legs around his waist, rocking up toward him as my arms fight to pull him closer. He kisses my ear then lowers his mouth to my hard nipple, sucking it to a hard point.
“Teddy,” I moan.
His pace picks up as a slow, delicious burn begins low in my belly. His mouth moves up to mine, his tongue slipping through my lips, staking his claim on my heart. He pushes me deeper into the mattress with every thrust, burying himself in me.
“Teddy,” I gasp out so close to my climax. “I need to hear you. Please.”
