“Yeah, she said something about meeting someone yesterday. She’s in 328. Maybe you can work her out of her pissy mood.” He turns, heading into the bar.
As I watch him walk away, all I can think is that I could really use something to drink. If this goes badly, I’ll have plenty of time to get shitfaced later, I’m sure. With a sigh, I head for the bank of elevators.
The hunt for Sophia has lasted twelve hours now. I take a deep breath when I find her room but my nerves are at the breaking point. Pulling the crumpled letter out of my pocket, I read it again. Was I really that easy to walk away from? Did she really care so little about me that she could only bother to leave a note? She owes me a fucking explanation, or at least something that makes sense.
I pound on her door and when she doesn’t answer, I pound on it again. I can see a shadow under the threshold, so I know she is watching me through the peephole.
“Open the door, Sophia.” It’s more of a demand than a request but soon I hear a lock turn before the door slowly eases open.
She stands in the doorway in a blue silk robe tied tightly around her waist. Her hair is cascading down her back in long deep brown waves, taking my breath away.
Stepping into the room, I kick the door closed behind me. Sophia backs away from me, crossing her arms in front of her and begins to speak.
“Teddy, how did you find me?” I don’t give her a chance to finish before I cut her off.
“No, Sophia. You said everything you get to say in this fucking note you left me when you snuck out,” I say, wadding the note up in my fist. “Now you get to listen to me.” I lean back against the door, pinning my hands behind my back. It’s the only way I can think of to prevent myself from touching her.
“When I was barely twelve,” I begin, “I was officially given to the state by parents who didn’t give a shit about me. I was placed under the control of a brother I had never met before, at thirteen. I was dragged under protest to a strange house to spend Thanksgiving with a family I didn’t know by the time I was fourteen. I felt like a kid set adrift in a raging storm.”
Sophia takes a step toward me, her hand reaching out.
“No, Soph, let me finish.” I take a deep breath, looking into her eyes and continue. “Then this vision came bouncing out of the house. I remember every moment, everything she was wearing, even the way her voice sounded. She was stunning and my fourteen-year-old body reacted in a way I didn’t understand yet.
“The summer I was seventeen, that same vision danced back into my life for two weeks. It was the best time of my life but also a perpetual hell. She was even more beautiful, smart, and confident than before. She was everything I wasn’t and I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.”
She slides down to sit on the bed, looking at her hands.
“Do you remember when we fell asleep watching Grayson’s old copy ofStripes?”
She nods her head, not meeting my eyes.
“I watched you sleep for hours curled up in my arms. I was too scared to fall asleep and miss a single second of holding you.”
Her eyes continue to stare down at her hands.
“I knew it was one-sided. I knew you would find someone else. That I needed to move on even then.
“The problem is, I never have figured out how to do that. I thought if I put an ocean between us, if I tried dating someone else, I could get over you. I thought if I could just fuck someone else, I could fool my mind into believing I could forget you.”
I push off the door, taking a step toward her. “I never could do it though. Never could fuck those other girls, they just weren’t you.”
She looks up at me, tears falling from her beautiful amber eyes.
“There has only ever been one woman for me. My beautiful golden-eyed vision.”
I can see her breathing in short gasps, the pulse pounding in the vein in her neck. The one I kissed last night when I entered her.
“I guess what I want to know is this. Why would you let me make love to you if you were going to leave me?” I’m trying not to break, but my words come out strained, making Sophia flinch. She broke my heart, I deserve to know why. “Why did you give me hope when you planned on tossing me away? Was I just a side fuck to keep you entertained?”
I’ve moved until I’m standing between her legs so she has to strain to look up at me. It guts me to see the tears running down her cheeks, but I want answers.
“Just tell me why?”
4
Sophia
He’s so angry, so hurt. I’ve done this, I’ve caused those beautiful blue eyes to fill with pain. He turns, stalking over to the wall.
