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She gasps, a tiny gasp, and clears her throat. "Oh. Well, that's good. It's good to sleep." She's nervous, almost stuttering. She takes a deep breath. "What is it like spending the afternoon with your ex? That's a lot of baggage to deal with."
"Me, baggage? That's ridiculous. I've never even held a grudge."
She laughs. "Uh-huh."
"Not even once."
"Then what do you call your deep and abiding hatred of Ryan?" She says it so cockily, like she knows she's right, knows she's got me.
I'll be able to wipe the smug look off her face soon enough.
"That's nothing. A little hostility towards a coworker."
"And him being my ex-boyfriend has nothing to do with it?"
"Not a thing." I press the phone into my ear. "Him hurting you, that might have something to do with it."
"But it's not a grudge."
"Exactly."
She laughs like she thinks I'm ridiculous. "How is Samantha?"
It's still bright outside. It's barely late afternoon. The windows are flooding the room with light, bringing a bit of life to the drab, beige room. "Not as well as I would hope."
"Oh." The joy in Alyssa's voice is gone. She's trying to hide her disappointment, but it's clear as day.
"She's lonely."
Alyssa voice gets low. "I don't like the sound of that."
I turn away from the windows. "For a friend. Only a friend."
"Yeah, sure..." She sighs. "No. I trust you. I don't trust her, but I trust you."
I sink into the bed. It's too soft. A crappy piece of a crappy hotel. "How have you been managing with Laurie? She's been a little crazy on Twitter." She posts about the show every hour on the hour. Not that I'm really interested in how Laurie is. But Alyssa isn't going to respond to an obvious offense.
"She's been reading a lot of reviews."
"Have you?"
"Yeah."
I wait for her to say more, but she's quiet. The air is stale, immobile. It must be this quiet in her room. This motionless.
"How is that going?" I ask.
"It was an awful idea. And it was stupid. It's not like this is the first time I've been down this road. People always have their opinions. And even the people who like the show get things wrong, or have inane interpretations. I thought I learned my lesson on Together. Or Mahogany. Jesus. That one was brutal."
"It has almost ninety percent on Rotten Tomatoes."
"Yeah, ninety percent liked the movie. They didn't necessarily like my acting."
She takes a deep breath, no doubt waiting for my objection. I can't argue here. She sounds soft, like she's finally ready to talk. Like she finally needs me.
"Tell me about it," I say.
"Do you know how it feels for your stomach to do somersaults because you're so nervous you can barely keep reading the review? Cause you know it's due to mention your performance any second. And then you spend an hour poring over the two lines devoted to you. You analyze every single word. And you think about it for the rest of the night."
