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"Jesus. That sucks."
"I knew better, but Laurie was obsessing so much. I was curious."
"I should get you out of there," I say.
"I should have more self-control." She sighs.
I hear her shifting. Getting on her bed, probably. Getting comfortable.
It's almost like we're together. Both of us in bed, in our empty rooms, our attention only on the phone.
"If I was there, I could distract you," I say.
"Luke..."
I slide back on the bed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing... Just. I wish you had been here."
"I'll be back soon."
"I know, but I miss you. It feels so far away. I feel like I'm... I don't know. It sounds pathetic, but I feel like I'm unraveling. I forgot how hard all this is. The production is one thing. It's stressful, but I love it. I love being there in the scene, even if the director is a tyrant or one of the other actors is an asshole. But the rejections, and the reviews, and the meetings. Jesus, the meetings are miserable."
"Have you had any problems?"
"No one has been direct, but I get this sense from so many of these people. I can see the rejection in their eyes the second they introduce themselves. I see them looking at me thinking no, she's not the right kind of woman. And then... I read the comments on this review. And a lot of them were about me. About my body."
God, I should have been there to distract her. Alyssa needs me and I'm not there. What is wrong with me?
"Don't listen to those idiots. Your body is to die for."
She sighs. "I should have known better."
My head aches again. I need to be with Alyssa, to whisk her away from all this. I have to do whatever it takes to pry her away from all the awful thoughts in her head.
But there's not much I can do from here.
I press the phone into my ear. "It's understandable."
She sighs, lowering her voice to a whisper. "After I read the first one, I couldn't stop. It was just like the reviews. Then, before I knew it, I was sitting in front of the computer crying. I had to blast my music so Laurie wouldn't hear, so I wouldn't have to deal with her."
"When was this?"
"Earlier today."
I rub my temples. "Ally, why didn't you call me? You know you can call anytime."
"I know." There's accusation in her voice. Why should she call if I'm not going to be there?
"I would have come straight there."
"It would have taken you four hours with traffic."
"So I'd drive through four hours of traffic," I say.
She takes a deep breath. Like she's calming her nerves. "I don't need you running over here to rescue me every time I'm upset."
My heart sinks. "So you'd rather cry by yourself?"
