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Can't rush this. She's still hurting over Asher's death. As much as I'd like to use my mouth to make her come, she needs me using it to reassure her this is okay.
I can't sit here and watch her hurt. I'm not making the same mistakes. This time, I'm doing something to help.
I let my mind wander as I take my turn. By the time I hand the controller over to Kit, I've got it. This might not be what Violet wants, but it's something she needs to do. She needs someone to push her to do it. She needs someone there, holding her hand.
Fuck, I want to be that person.
I arrange everything on my phone. It takes half an hour and a few favors, but I work it out. Perfect. This will be a surprise.
"Earth to Ethan." Joel taps me on the shoulder.
"What?" I ask.
"It's your turn." Joel waves the controller.
"Skip me this time." I push myself off the couch. I'm about to take a step towards Violet.
"Ahem. A word, Ethan." Joel grabs me by the back of my shirt and pulls me onto the couch.
"Didn't realize you felt this way about me." I look to Kit for backup.
"With those strict 'no fraternization' rules, he can't express his attraction." Kit chuckles.
Joel rolls his eyes. He moves between us, close enough to whisper. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Was gonna talk to Violet," I say. "Do you object to that?"
"Fuck yeah, I object to that. Look at her." He motions to Violet.
I've been looking at her. Her eyes are on her laptop. Her brow is furrowed with concentration.
That's how she always looks when she's working.
Except that her shoulders are tense and she's tapping her fingers against the table.
She's nervous about something.
All the more reason to talk to her. Whatever this is, we can work it out.
"Kit and I know that you and Violet ever being casual is a pipe dream." Joel lowers his voice. "Does she know that?"
"She's the one insisting." I'm playing by her rules.
"You skipped the sound check," he says. "You've never done that before."
"It's just a sound check," I say.
Joel shoots me a you aren't convincing me with that bullshit look. "I get it. Violet is fun, she's smart, she's hot. If she wasn't your ex-girlfriend, I'd be the first in line to fuck her. But she wouldn't look at me the way she looks at you. And I certainly wouldn't look at her the way you do."
What's his point?
"You're going to hurt her. You really want that on your conscience?" Joel asks.
No, I don't. Biting aside, the last thing I want is to hurt Violet. But there's no reason to tell Joel that.
He's only gonna fuck this up.
"We're on the same page." I try to keep my voice light but I'm not selling this story.
