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"Now is good."
"What happened to drums?"
"I'd rather bang you."
I laugh. "That was terrible."
"Not terrible."
"Terrible. Joel Young makes terrible jokes." I push him playfully. "That would sound better if I knew your middle name."
"Joel Oscar Young."
"Your initials spell joy?"
He nods. "My mom is a hippie."
Again, I laugh. "Joel is Joy… wow, that puts you in a whole new perspective."
He's still wearing that slack-jawed expression. "We're talking."
"We are."
"We could be fucking."
"Here?"
"Yeah."
I shake my head.
He nods to the couch. When I fold my arms and raise a brow, he nods to the bed. Then to the balcony. The kitchen counter. The expanse of wall.
"You want to go bareback that badly?"
"Never have."
"Never?"
"Never been in a monogamous relationship."
Monogamous relationship.
How can such a matter of fact description set me on fire?
How can it make my heart flutter and my stomach churn?
I let me head fill with ideas about me and Joel. I wash up, dress, join Joel at the nearest grocery store, drive back to our place. The entire time, I'm in my head, imagining the possibility of this being forever.
We are married.
Maybe…
There's a reason for that.
Maybe it's enough of a reason for us to stay that way.
After we put our groceries away, we get set up in Joel's practice room.
