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But the thought of Joel, naked, in bed, screaming some other woman's name…

Fuck, my stomach is already churning.

Mal continues. "Drew bailed to join Sinful Serenade. Their drummer and bassist used to be in a band with Ethan."

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nbsp; "He plays guitar, right?" I ask.

Mal nods.

"And you sing. Why weren't you in the band?" I ask.

"'Cause he was too busy getting laid." Joel clears his throat. "He didn't have time to waste with rock star bullshit. He only remembers all this shit because it was how he got to be in charge."

He's covering.

Mal is nodding. He's on board with it.

Joel's eyes catch mine. Something passes between us, something I can't quite explain.

He knows I know he's full of it.

I nod go ahead.

He does. "Mal only puts up with us because it means he gets several thousand women screaming his name every night."

Mal chuckles. "Short story is, Tom, the Sinful Serenade drummer, is a force of nature. He wouldn't rest until Kit and Joel gave me and Ethan a shot. We'd been playing together for years. Joel thought I was bossy and annoying right away."

"I still do," Joel teases.

"But I'm more tolerable than Gavin or Drew," Mal says.

"Marginally."

"You're not so tolerable yourself, Young." Mal motions to me. "You're lucky you found a woman who wants to put up with you."

"Yeah. I'm really fucking lucky." He slides his arms around me and he kisses me hard and deep.

I melt.

Joel turns more and more "on" with every arrival. Then his mom and Kit's parents get back, and he's brighter than a 150 watt bulb.

He really is an entertainer. He teases all of his friends. He charms the pants off Kit's parents. He keeps the conversation going all throughout appetizers and dinner.

It's a nice party, a nice night. The home cooked food is fantastic. The conversation is flowing. And Joel is doing an expert job deflecting attention from me.

Every time someone asks about our engagement, our marriage, our wedding night, he finds a way to change the subject.

He's really good at pushing people's buttons.

But I can tell it's wearing on him. I can see the cracks in his smile. I can see the exhaustion in his eyes. I can see the tension knotting in his shoulders.

It's exactly how I feel at every family function, at every study group, at every one of my family's fancy catered affairs.

He's trying to keep the party going by entertaining.

I do it by keeping the peace.

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