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It exhausts both of us.
I like Joel's friends. They're sweet and fun and they seem supportive.
But I still feel like I'm "on" too.
We say goodbye to our friends, drive Trish to the airport, say goodbye to her.
I'm very, very glad to be alone with Joel in his car.
To be heading back to our apartment.
To watch another Harry Potter movie on the couch.
To climb into bed with Joel.
He whispers in my ear as he runs his fingertips over my wrists. "Means the fucking world to me that you told me that."
My chest gets warm. "It means the world to me that you… that you didn't run away."
"No fucking way." He presses his lips to my forehead. "Tomorrow… I'll tell you about all that shit with my parents tomorrow."
"Yeah?"
He nods. "I've never shown anyone the ugly parts of me." He pulls me closer. "But I do really fucking trust you."
28
Joel
Two days until our divorce date.
I might only have two more days with her.
The thought nags at me through breakfast.
Through coffee.
I push it aside as we walk over to the hipster shops on Abbot Kinney. By the time I'm done with my second cup, I've got that dread in some tiny box at the bottom of my gut.
I'm here.
In this moment.
That's what I do. That's what I'm good at.
And it's what I want.
Bella buys two new outfits. Ones that would be ridiculously out of place in a New York winter.
Ones that show off her amazing tits and her fantastic ass.
That's got to be a good sign.
That, or I'm thinking with my cock.
But, I'd rather think about getting Bella off at lunch than about what happens if we call this off.
I manage to keep my hands to myself—mostly—as she finishes touring the shops. But when we're finally walking into a hipster sandwich shop, I can't help myself.
