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But the thought of Joel filling my ass makes me clench up everywhere.
Can I do this?
What if it hurts?
His hips rock against mine.
With his size, it's going to hurt.
I try to push my thoughts aside as I kiss him back, but they won't go.
It's going to hurt. I'm not going to be exciting or dirty or bold enough for him.
I'm not going to be enough for him.
He's going to realize I'm a mess and run away.
What then?
His eyes flutter open as he pulls back. "You're nervous."
I nod. "I'm sorry."
He cocks a brow. "For what?"
"I'm not sure I can do this."
"Don't be sorry about that." His eyes bore into mine. His expression gets serious, caring. "Do you want to?"
"Well, you—"
"No, Bella. Do you want this?"
"Yes." I bite my lip. "I feel so dirty, wanting this."
"Say it."
"I…"
He cups my cheek with his palm, then he's rubbing my temple with his thumb. "Tell me where you want my cock."
My cheeks flush. "I…"
"You're not getting it unless you tell me."
I swallow hard and stare back into Joel's eyes. I do want this. And I can say it. "I want you to fuck… I want you to fuck my ass."
God, I'm red everywhere.
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If Mom could hear me, she'd be turning over in her grave.
Chases are nice girls.
And nice girls don't demand anal sex.
Nice girls don't say I want you to fuck my ass.
