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Joel pins me to the door with his hips. "Say it again, angel."
This time, I don't hesitate. "I want you to fuck my ass." Still, my cheeks flush. I stare back into his eyes. "Will it hurt?"
"A little." He rubs my temple with his thumb. "If it's too much, tell me."
"You won't be mad?"
His brows screw in confusing. "Why would I be mad?"
"I don't know…"
"Don't bend yourself into some shape for me, Bella. Tell me what you want." His eyes bore into mine. "Promise you'll tell me if it hurts."
"Okay."
"Or if you're too nervous."
"I'm pretty nervous."
"That's all right. We don't have to do it today."
But we might have to do it today.
There might not be anything after tomorrow.
Neither one of us has suggested canceling the appointment.
Feelings are swirling around my stomach. I care about him. More. More than like. But I can't say it yet.
I have to be sure.
I can't… "Kiss me. Please."
"Promise."
"I promise I'll tell you if it's too much."
He nods. His eyes flutter closed. His lips brush against mine. Softly. Then harder. His tongue slides into my mouth.
He slides his first two fingers into the belt loop of my jeans and motions come with me.
I follow him to the bedroom.
Moonlight flows in through the curtains and bounces off the white sheets. Joel pulls me onto the bed.
He plants his body next to mine. "Close your eyes."
I do.
"I want you to feel good, Bella."
"Okay."
"I'm not going to hurt you."
I nod.
"You trust me?"
