And last night, for a few perfect hours, I’d had it. Had felt seen and wanted and real. Had connected with someone who understood what it felt like to be on the outside, preparing to try and take a step inside. Who made me feel like I mattered as more than just a supporting character in everyone else’s story.
Then I’d found out she was their sister, and I’d panicked and destroyed it.
Because that’s what I did. I put them first. Always.
Even when it cost meeverything.
I got dressed mechanically. Jeans, t-shirt, nothing that required thought. Down in the garage, I tried to work. Tried to focus on the brake job I’d left half-finished yesterday.
But all I could see was her.
The way she’d looked at me in the bar, like I was the only person in the room. The way she’d laughed, the sound lightingsomething up in my chest. The way she’d kissed me, hungry and desperate and real.
The way she’d looked at me in that parking lot when she’d realized what I’d almost done. When she’d understood that I was going to call her brothers to come deal with the mess I’d made.
“You were ready to take me home thirty seconds ago!”
The accusation rang in my ears. She was right. Ihadbeen ready. Had wanted her so badly I was shaking with it. And then I’d shut down and tried to pass her off like she was a problem I couldn’t handle.
Because she was. She was the biggest problem I’d ever faced.
She was theirsister. Off-limits in every possible way. And I wanted her anyway.
Wanted her with an intensity that terrified me. Wanted to know everything about her. Her laugh, her fears, her dreams. Wanted to watch her photograph the world through her eyes. Wanted to make her smile, make her moan, make her look at me like I was the one she’d been searching for.
But I couldn’t have her. Could never have her.
Because my brothers would kill me. And I’d deserve it.
My phone rang, and I jumped like I’d been shocked. Xander’s name flashed on the screen.
For a moment, I considered not answering. But that would make things worse. Xander knew me too well. He’d know something was wrong, and he’d come looking for answers.
“Yeah?” I tried to sound normal. Failed.
“You definitely coming to meet Leigh today?” His voice was casual, but I could hear the undercurrent of concern. Xander never called without reason.
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
“You okay? You sound off.”
“Fine.” I forced steadiness into my voice. “Just tired.”
“Big day. I’m worried it might be too much. Throwing her into the middle of it all. She’s probably nervous.”
The image of her in that bar flashed through my mind, vulnerable and open, telling me about her fears. About feeling like she wouldn’t fit. About being terrified they wouldn’t want her.
She’d been nervous last night. And I’d made it so much worse.
“Yeah,” I managed. “Probably.”
“It’ll be good,” Xander said, almost like he was trying to reassure himself. “The family’s growing. It’s one more person to add to the chaos. A sister… that’s going to take some getting used to though.”
Sister. The word was a knife in my gut.
“See you at the farm,” Xander continued. “One o’clock. Don’t be late. Delaney’s making a spread. We already have a solid kidnap plan if you don’t turn up so might as well just embrace the inevitable.”
“I’ll be there.”
