“And we’ll talk?” he asked tentatively.
Xander had been on at me for months to talk. They all had. They knew there was something going on with me but I’d avoided it at all cost. Because how did you tell the people you cared most about in the world that the thing that was hurting you most was their happiness? How did you do that without them realising you were a complete ass?
“Yeah,” I said, already knowing that we wouldn’t.
He hummed in agreement not sounding completely convinced and then hung up, and I stood holding the phone, staring at nothing.
One o’clock. Three hours from now. Three hours to figure out how to face her without giving everything away. How to pretend we were strangers meeting for the first time.
How to look her in the eye and not see the hurt I’d put there.
I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face her, face them, and pretend everything was fine.
But I had no choice.
I finished the brake job on autopilot, cleaned up the garage, and locked up. Drove home to the house. The one my grandparents had left me, the one that echoed with absence and loneliness.
I showered again even though I didn’t need to. Changed into clean clothes. Looked at myself in the mirror and practiced normal expressions.
None of them looked normal.
At twelve-thirty, I got in my truck and started driving to Trace and Delaney’s farm. Every mile felt like walking to my execution.
The James Farm came into view. Trace and Delaney’s place, with its beautiful house and the cider mill and the pond where they were getting married. Cars were already parked in the drive. Booker’s truck, Xander’s SUV, Gage’s sedan, Jasper’s. And one I didn’t recognize.
Hers.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. She was in there. Right now. Meeting them for the first time.
And soon I’d have to walk in and face her.
Face the anger in her eyes. The hurt underneath. The knowledge that I’d made her feel cheap and unwanted when she was the furthest thing from either.
I sat in my truck for a full minute, unable to make myself move.
Through the window, I could see movement. People inside, gathering. I caught a glimpse of dark hair and my heart stopped.
She was here. She was real. Last night hadn’t been some fever dream brought on by loneliness and too much whiskey.
And I had to go in there and pretend nothing had happened.
Finally, I forced myself out of the truck and walked toward the house. Each step felt like wading through concrete.
Before I could knock, the door opened. Delaney stood there, smiling.
“Dex! Come in, we’re just…” She stopped, looking at me more closely. “You okay? You look…”
“Fine,” I said, the lie bitter on my tongue. “Just tired.”
She didn’t buy it. I could see it in her eyes. But she stepped aside. “Come meet Leigh.” She reached out, her hand briefly clasping mine. I’d never been able to hide anything from Delaney, it was one of the reasons why I was avoiding everyone.
This was going to be a disaster.
I walked inside, and there she was.
Standing by the window with an older woman who had to be Caroline, afternoon sunlight streaming through and catching in her dark hair like a halo. She was laughing at something someone had said, her whole face lit up, and she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her.
Then she turned and saw me.
