Gut punched, I wanted to shake her. “Were we gon’ be buried together? Huh?”
She looked at me like I was crazy.
So, I explained, “If you would’ve died, me and ya entire family would’ve died wit’ you.”
Dejectedly, her eyes dropped to the floor.
“Therefore, I need you to understand how much you mean to us. Understand me. This”—I ran my fingers along the bandages covering her surgical sites—“does not define you inanyof our eyes. Say you understand.”
She nodded.
Lifting her head, I made her look me in the eyes. “Say it.”
“I understand,” she mumbled.
I kissed her lips and said, “One day at a time, baby. That’s all you gotta do for me. Aight?”
“Okay.”
Although a few more tears fell, I dashed those away too.
“Come on, let me help you.”
She didn’t even stop me as I undressed her and placed her inside the waiting shower. While she stood under the spray, I discarded her undergarments and old pad, then got her fresh clothing. After that, I went back to the room to finish changing out the linens on the bed. Next, I refilled the water pitcher on the nightstand and placed a new box of graham crackers theretoo. After making sure she had fresh pencils and pens next to the crossword book and journal on the nightstand, I went back into the bathroom.
As she climbed out of the shower, I grabbed the body towel and wrapped her body in it. This was as intimate as we’d ever been. Yet, this was more soul-stirring than any time I’d ever been with a woman.
Bianca leaned against me. Seeing her cheeks flushed, I knew that fatigue had struck her. Picking her up, I carried her to the bed where I dried her off, clothed her, then tucked her under the blanket.
Reclining the bed just a little, I said, “You can sleep after you eat a lil’ bit for me.”
She rolled her eyes but nodded. Inside the kitchen, I fixed Bianca a bowl of soup, then packed some for Kwamé. Within minutes, I was back in Bianca’s room placing the soup before her.
“This smells so good,” she praised.
“Eat at least half the bowl,” I encouraged her. She groaned but said a prayer, then dug in. As she did so, I sat on the edge of the bed and peered at her. “No matter what, I’m here for you.”
The solemn smirk on her face matched the look in her eyes.
“What?” I asked.
Reluctantly, she uttered, “You say that as if you don’t have an entire fiancée.”
Damn.I hadn’t spoken to Katrelle since she left my condo. Until I officially called things off, she would be waiting, assuming we were still on our way down the aisle. I just couldn’t, though. My heart didn’t beat for Katrelle. It beat for the woman whose downcast expression squeezed my life’s vessel.
“You say that as if you wanted me,” I replied. “Over the years, you made it clear that you wasn’t fuckin’ wit’ me on that level.”
“I know…” Her voice trailed off.
When she didn’t continue, a part of me almost gave upagain. “When you’re ready to confront ya feelings for me, we can talk about Katrelle,” I said.
She shook her head and placed the bowl of soup on the nightstand. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
Going to the nightstand, I gave her the bowl back. “I said half, lil’ baby.”
“I’ve lost my appetite,” she stated.
“Well, find it and eat a few more bites.”
