CHAPTER 9
BIANCA
Ihuggedmymamatightly, happy to see her face. She checked on me many times a day, but feeling her embrace was priceless.
“You look good, baby girl,” she praised.
“I feel good,” I told her.
Between Antonias feeding me the way he did and keeping me active with the walks he took me on, my body felt better than it did before I was shot. I hugged my dad and stayed a little longer in his arms. Taking the hand my mama wasn’t holding, I let him usher us inside Monico, a clothing boutique located indowntown Pensacola. Already, I missed the farm and couldn’t wait to get back there.
Inside Monico, the owner, Coveny, smiled and welcomed us in. Coveny’s smile always fascinated me. She was fairly new in Niceville Shores and had recently opened her boutique in Pensacola. The night of the shooting, I wore a gown she’d made custom for me.
My eyes scanned the showroom, stopping on a section of girls’ dresses. Something jarred my memory, stopping me in my tracks. My heart started pounding, and suddenly, I had to get out of there.
Concerned, my mama wrapped me in her arms. “What’s the matter?” she questioned.
What’s the matter? I wanted to scream. Monico was the matter!
In a split second, it dawned on my mama. She flicked her gaze at my daddy, and wordlessly, they led me back toward the entrance. Then, something else stopped me in my tracks.
“Wait,” I said. With my head spinning, I told my parents, “Wait outside for me.”
They glanced at each other but did as I asked. Taking a few deep breaths, I turned back around to a confused Coveny.
“Everything alright?” she muttered.
I shook my head. “Coveny? Where did you get your smile?”
She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
Walking up to her, I asked her again, “Where did you get your smile?”
She giggled. “I’m not sure what you mean, Bianca.”
“Monico was your daughter.”
Her smile slowly dimmed, and the light in her eyes dimmed too. Although she and I had never talked about her daughter, Pensacola streets talked. Many people were curious about Coveny and her boutique. Whispers were made, and I heardthem. As with my family and the shooting. Many knew about it but wouldn’t utter a word in fear that it would get back to Adir.
“How can you… How did you learn to smile so beautifully?”
Coveny peered at me and something peaceful entered her brown eyes. “It didn’t come without an ocean’s worth of tears,” she stated. “I was twenty-one when I lost her. Not a year has passed since she hasn’t dominated most of my thoughts.” Her smile returned as she glanced around her boutique. “This place is for Monico. Doing this in her honor makes me feel like I’m honoring her life and name.”
“What happens when you go home?” I questioned.
“I go home knowing this place waits for me tomorrow. Much like I know my baby waits for me to join her when it’s my time.”
Coveny sounded so strong and sure. And it wasn’t forced. Peace radiated from her. It was a peace I strived to have one day.
“I haven’t lost a child. I’ve lost my ability to carry one.” Saying it out loud to someone who wasn’t family should’ve made me want to suffocate. Instead, something akin to power and control washed over me. “I’m on a journey to love me for me. Will you take my number so we can talk sometime?” I asked her.
“Absolutely.” This was the first time Coveny’s eyes filled with tears, but she held them back. We both inhaled deep breaths, then giggled together.
“Okay, girl, I got it together,” I said. “I’m here for a dress.”
Coveny chuckled and replied, “I got you, girl. I have the perfect one for you.”
My mama and daddy came back inside to view the dress. It was indeed the perfect dress for me. Dr. Bell & Associates’ holiday party couldn’t happen without me. Yes, I was healing. It was time that I took control of my journey, though.
