Looking at little man, for a split second, I saw myself. Genesis wasn’t aware of the trauma lingering in his bloodline. He wouldn’t have memories of sleepless nights, bedbugs, and gunshots ripping through the house. Eating scraps from the floor would never be his story. He would always know the love of the people who swore to protect him. The smile on his face and gibberish he spewed comically caused everyone in the living room to stop whatever they were doing to behold the child we’d all protect with our very lives. He’d have AJ, Adir and Coco’s son, as a close cousin. The two were the next generation of Bell men, and honestly, I couldn’t wait to have my own lineage to carry my name.
“You aight, bruh?” Adir asked.
Glancing at him, I said, “Yeah. Don’t think shit is cool just ‘cause y’all here celebrating Christmas with us.”
“Nigga, please. You opened that do’ so fuckin’ quick you ‘bout snatched it off the hinges,” Adrian interjected. Before either of us could burst out laughing, Jessie giggled like she understood what the hell was going on. “See, my baby even knows you full of shit.”
“Alright, now. You guys behave,” Kwamé stated as she pointedly peered at Adrian. The way he shut up caused me and Adir to chuckle. I wouldn’t get in the middle of whatever they had going on unless I had to. Kwamé had her own story to tell, and I hoped one day she was able to share it the way she wanted to.
“All bullshit aside, y’all do know that Bianca is straight, right?”
The mug they shared was identical, but Adir replied, “It’s natural for us to respond the way we did last night. At the same time, we gotta respect you as a man—”
“No matter how hard it is,” Adrian interrupted.
Adir shook his head. “No matter how hard it is,” he echoed Adrian’s statement.
Bianca caught my eye, distracting me from everyone else. She looked as beautiful as ever in the matching maroon sweat set she and I wore. The locket around her neck was just one of many gifts I had for her. I couldn’t wait for her to open the rest. Spoiling her had never been an issue and would never be an issue. Now that I had her, if I could take a fish net and scrape a few stars out of the sky for her, I would.
Bianca forced me to confront my issues with rejection. If I didn’t love her, then it was another emotion much greater than love that I felt for her.
Later that evening, I sat in my office and called my parents to wish them a Merry Christmas. Gion answered, sounding out of breath.
“Do I need to call you back?” I asked with my face frowned up.
He chuckled. “Mind ya business. What’s goin’ on?”
“Nothin’ much.” Sighing, I said, “I’m goin’ to see Eldon and Arisana soon. Just thought I’d let you know.”
This man was responsible for raising me and making me the man I was today. I respected him too much to keep it from him.
“Aight, cool. I was hoping to get this call one day. You need this, baby. If that nigga gets outta line, you know what to do.”
“I do,” I replied.
“Bet. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Pops.”
Hanging up, I glanced at the wall holding pictures of me and my family. Over the years, the ones who left never looked back. Kwamé and I were the only two of Eldon and Margarite’s adopted children who prided ourselves on loving them as if they were our biological parents. With my life I would protect them. Without question, they would do the same for me.
Miami, Florida…
Standing on the balcony of the vacation condo I bought and never spent time in, I looked out over Miami’s downtown scenery. Car horns, music, loud voices, and the occasional plane flying over created a symphony around me that held the animal at bay. It was the day before New Year’s Eve, so downtown Miami was lit.
Whenever I came to Miami, it was a quick in and out. I didn’t linger, didn’t associate with anyone outside of work, and I damn sure didn’t sightsee. Coming here was strictly always about business.
Hands that turned my insides into mush touched my back, then slid up to massage the tight muscles in my shoulders. Groaning, I leaned my head down to give Bianca better access to my neck as she massaged there too. She massaged me for aminute, until I took one of her hands and brought her around to stand in front of me. I brought her back to rest against my chest, then fitted her to me.
My hands rested on the healing scar running the length of her lower abdomen. She would never be able to physically carry my children, but she would always be the mother of my children. I would go to any lengths to give us both the dream of holding our own child.
She shifted my hands to rest below the scar. No matter how many times I touched her there or kissed her there, she wasn’t comfortable with me doing so. Bianca’s confidence was a trait that I loved about her. Seeing how the shooting took away some of my baby’s spark infuriated me all over again.
I kissed her neck and asked, “Do you know how much I adore you?”
She bit her lip to hide a smile. “No… Tell me.”
Obliging her, I said, “I love that ya heart is big as fuck, even when you don’t want it to be. I love that you’ve always refused to never settle for less. I adore the way you love ya family. Even though you couldn’t stand my guts, I adored the way you’ve always been loyal to me. Whether handling shit at the clinic, or quietly havin’ my back… I’ve noticed all that shit.”
