I dropped another kiss on her neck and squeezed her closer.
“Every time ya heart beats, mine does too. Signs of life in you, bring signs of life to me. You’re beautiful, intelligent as fuck, and you got a beast inside you, who’s never goin’ for the bullshit. I trust you. I respect you. Most of all, I see you. Aight?”
Turning in my arms, she nodded and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss me. She rested her head on my chest, and I stood there holding her, thankful that she was everything I needed.
Before nightfall, Bianca and I shopped at a few boutiques that were exclusive to Miami, then we went back to the condo for dinner we shared while watching a movie. With the lovesurrounding us, this trip was still dreary as hell. I felt heavy, and I could tell my energy concerned her.
Nevertheless, as she slept on my chest that night, I stared at the ceiling, mentally preparing myself for tomorrow. I prayed tomorrow wouldn’t reduce me to someone Bianca would ever fear. A nigga was worried as fuck.
“I’m right here, baby.” Bianca’s soft voice shattered the worry clogging my brain. Her fingers danced through my beard as she reiterated, “I’m right here.”
Within minutes, I fell asleep.
CHAPTER 13
ANTONIAS
Thickashellcementmust’ve been what was lodged in my throat as I stood on the corner of Hill Street & Birmingham Ave.
“This is where they left me,” I explained to Bianca.
Back then, there was a corner store that sat outside of one of the worst housing apartments in the city. There was no streetlight or reputable business on this stretch of street. Just a corner store, a city bus stop, and a dilapidated autobody parts garage across the street. Over the years, the stretch of street was upgraded. The store was still here, but several businesses were now on either side of the street. Hills Apartment Complexwas torn down and replaced with a gated community featuring single-family homes.
“Someone leaving the store saw them driving off and grabbed me before I could run into the street. Although my life was horrible as fuck, I still tried to run after them.”
Done standing on this corner, I ushered Bianca back to the Suburban where Tyrese waited for us. I climbed in behind Bianca and pushed out a deep breath. I’d successfully made it through phase one. Phase two… Phase two had my head hurting. My blood pressure was surely high.
As we headed to our next destination, I had to give Bianca the footnotes of my life before Antonias Suarez came into existence.
“Eldon and Arisana Lovelace. Those are my birth parents. They were heavy into the streets. And by heavy, I mean hopping flights in and out of the country. Before I was six, I’d been shot at more than I could count.” Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe how much my brain retained over the years. Trauma was a tick that latched on and hid amongst life and all its distractions. “More than once, my mother told me that having me slowed them down. They were all about their money and a baby was never anything either of them desired to have. Most nights, they locked me in the attic while they were handling whatever business they had to tend to. I’d eat whatever, shit wherever, and talk to the fuckin’ walls. I had a bed and some stuffed animals to keep me company, but that was about it.”
Bianca’s face reflected shock and sorrow. Still, there was more.
“The day they left me on the street, they were runnin’ from the feds. Instead of taking me with them, they left me. My mama said I slowed them down, so taking me with them was never an option.” Swallowing hard, I said, “The article in the papers labeled me as a three-year-old, Black male. Mind you, I was six. That was how fuckin’ small I was.”
Bianca’s hand settled on mine. She joined our fingers together and held on for dear life.
“Before Eldon got too deep in, he cut ties with his closest partner at the time, Gion.”
Bianca gasped. “Your dad?”
I nodded. “Gion found out what hospital I was in, then came and got me. By then, he and Margarite were no longer runnin’ the way Eldon and Arisana were. They were a crew, but the more licks they hit, the more reckless Eldon and Arisana became. Gion and Margarite picked up and left Miami. They settled outside of Niceville Shores.”
“The farm?” she mumbled.
Again, I nodded. “I was rebellious as hell. If trouble was to be had, I got into it. I hated my life so much, I thought I was in hell. I gave them hell, too.”
“What changed?” she asked.
“Out of all the children Gion and Margarite fostered, Kwamé came along. Protecting her became my mission. Instead of running the streets, I’d make sure I was home just to keep an eye on her. She was broken and scared. I couldn’t leave her to fend for herself.”
“That’s sweet, Antonias.”
I shrugged just as Tyrese pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant Eldon frequented. Although I didn’t keep tabs on him, he was so predictable that a quick search gave me the rundown on Eldon Lovelace. Truly, his ass hadn’t changed. As soon as he got out of prison, he started the same shit again. He was still in the streets and still thought he was the shit.
As for my birth mother, she was still sticking beside her nigga. Locating one meant the other was close. In this case, they were both inside La Casa Verde enjoying lunch. I learned they had a young daughter named Shyah. According to the information I had, Shyah was exceptionally bright and thriving. That was justshit on the surface. I couldn’t help but wonder what her home life was like.
Tyrese parked, and as I climbed out of the Suburban, I chucked my head at the other black Suburban that pulled in next to us. Security was here to ensure that Bianca made it back to Bell Estates should anything go sideways. I hoped nothing went sideways.
