Nick gazed into my eyes but I couldn’t hold eye contact. ‘I’m not going to push you, but I’m here for you if you want to talk about it, whatever it is.’ He gave me such a warm, reassuring smile that my heart melted. Damn Andy for re-appearing and throwing a spanner in the works. And damn him for having the right name. Nick didn’t deserve this. Neither did I.
‘Thanks, Nick.’ I squeezed his hand. ‘I may take you up on that offer later.’
‘Oi you two, stop canoodling and pay attention to your friends,’ called Clare across the table. Her eyes caught mine and the expression asked if I was okay. I nodded and smiled weakly.
‘Is Stevie brewing these drinks himself?’ I joked, craning my neck to see him trying to get served at the bar. ‘A girl could die of thirst in here.’ Or of guilt.
Despite the emotional turmoil presented by Andy’s reappearance, I still managed to have a great evening. Nick met with Clare’s approval, which was a relief after her contempt for Jason. ‘I can’t believe you’d even consider Andy when you’ve got a man like Nick,’ she said on a visit to the toilets. ‘Nick’s a keeper. He clearly idolises you and I can tell you feel the same. If that eejit Andy hadn’t shown up today, you wouldn’t even be questioning your relationship. You were so right to ditch the Steven search for him. Don’t let Andy back into your life. I beg you.’
Nick walked us home. The rain had eased a little but the wind hadn’t. I felt a storm brewing, physically and metaphorically. Clare announced she’d make drinks then head up to bed with hers and several rounds of toast to soak up the alcohol.
Left alone in the cool lounge, I curled up on the opposite end of the sofa to Nick and pulled a throw over our legs for warmth. Twenty-four hours earlier we’d been snuggled on the sofa and I’d felt like I hadn’t a care in the world. What a difference a day could make.
I looked at Nick’s concerned expression. I didn’t want to hurt him but I had to tell him. ‘Something happened this afternoon. I don’t know what to make of it but I think honesty is really important in a relationship so I’m going to tell you even though it might hurt you.’
Nick sighed. ‘This sounds ominous. Should I be worried?’
I couldn’t reassure him. ‘I don’t know where to start.’ My eyes filled with tears.
‘The beginning?’
Clare poked her head round the door, passed me two mugs of tea, then headed upstairs, leaving the enticing aroma of toasthanging in the air. Bloody Andy. The three of us could have been laughing and joking over tea and toast instead of Clare feeling banished to her room while I had one of the hardest conversations of my life.
‘When we went to the pub after Auntie Kay tried to set us up, do you remember me telling you about Andy?’
‘Your boyfriend at university? The one in Dubai?’ Nick blew on his tea.
‘I haven’t seen him for about fifteen months, but he emailed me recently to say he was coming back to the UK for good. I told him I’d split up with Jason and moved back home. He turned up at the shop this afternoon.’
Nick put his tea on the coffee table. ‘I’m guessing he wasn’t after mate’s rates on a bouquet?’
‘No. He wants to try again.’
‘And you said…?’
My cheeks flushed. ‘I said it was out of the blue and I didn’t know what to say or think.’
‘Did you tell him about us?’
‘No,’ I admitted in a small voice, hanging my head in shame.
‘Any reason?’ He didn’t sound mad, just hurt.
‘Clare asked me the same thing. She’s furious with him, by the way, for thinking he can just walk back into my life. I don’t know why I didn’t mention it. We only had a brief conversation and I couldn’t think how to throw it in. I mean, he travelled all the way here to tell me he loves me. I didn’t want to hurt him by throwing it back in his face.’
‘He told you he loves you?’
Too honest, Sarah. Why did you have to say that?
‘Not in so many words,’ I muttered. I knew I was doing the right thing in telling him about Andy. I also knew that Nick meant the world to me and, if the pained expression in his eyes was anything to go by, I was breaking his heart. What I really didn’t know was how I felt about Andy anymore. Half of me was screaming that it felt so right with Nick and he really could be The One despite being a non-Steven.But the other half was screaming that I’d always believed Andy was The One and, here he was,begging me to get back with him… and he was a Steven… well, sort of.
‘How did you leave things?’
‘He’s staying at The Ramparts. I didn’t ask him to. He’d already booked himself in. I guess I’ll meet him at some point to talk.’
Nick studied my face for what felt like a lifetime. ‘There’s something else, isn’t there?’
How could he possibly know?
