*
Dawn comes around a lot sooner than expected, but with the gray clouds looming along the horizon it’s getting harder to tell the time at any point during the day. His phone displays it’s six past nine, which isn’t too much time to have slumbered. But with the day they have ahead of them he figures they’ve got plenty of time to doze and take it a little easy. Gabriel actually hopes he’s one of the first ones at the restaurant this morning, in hopes of securing one of the elusive thermal coffeepots. It will make it a little easier if they don’t have to go back and forth whenever they feel like having a coffee.
Weirdly enough there never seems to be enough of the pots for all the rooms, so whoever gets there the earliest has the most luck. And today, he feels like they deserve it. He tumbles out of bed, pulling on a nicer pair of sweatpants and a warm, black sweater and heads out.
He enjoys the train best like this. Quiet and almost eerie in its silence. Breakfast opened about ten minutes ago, but he knows most people will take today as an opportunity to sleep in and take the rest of the day for what it is. At the sight of the elusive coffeepots he cheers a little.
He’ll have to ask James, but he’s pretty sure that they’ll have dinner on the train before getting to Helsinki. For nowhe’s content to walk back to the cabin, make himself a cup of coffee and snuggle back into the blankets to either watch a show or read a few chapters.
James is still asleep when he steps inside the room. He quietly shuts the door behind him and sets aside the acquired breakfast in a secure spot. His phone reflects that it’s just before ten. It’s just a matter of minutes before he knows James’ first alarm will beep. He sits back down on the bed to wait, grabbing his tablet from the nightstand to see if he can find something he’d like to watch today.
He knows James tucked away some travel games in his suitcase. He figures there must be something in there that’s suitable for them to keep themselves occupied. Glancing out of the windows, he hopes that the weather will be this calm the whole trip. He’d love to just sit, listen to his playlist and watch the world go by for a few hours.
Just as he predicted, the alarm rings not even five minutes later, rousing James from his sleep. From where he was curled up, with one of his hands in his hair and the other tucked underneath his head, he looked peaceful and serene. A complete 180 from the person filled with nervous energy during the day. Gabriel’s happy that James is comfortable enough to let his guard down around him. Not just in his sleep, but more and more during waking hours as well. It’s good to see him setting boundaries and sticking to them.
As James sits up, he brings one of his hands up to his eyes, rubbing at them languidly. Each movement slow from slumber, filled with the softness of sleep. He lets out a yawn and a loose strand of hair falls over his forehead. It takes everything in Gabriel to stay on his side of the bed, rooted to his spot, and to not reach out and tug the hair back in its rightful place.
He’s never cared for someone as much as he does for James. Everything about him tugs at Gabriel’s heartstrings, pulls forth the desire to protect and provide. To love, and to be loved. With every passing month the feeling grows stronger, and now that he knows what it’s like to hold James’ hand, to put his palm on the small of his back, he aches for more.
If only he knew what he could do to get James to see him in the same way. They could be so good together. He just knows it. It’s the mixture of his fear of rejection and the knowledge of being a rebound that holds him back.
“Morning,” mumbles James. “Did you get coffee already?”
Gabriel nods, even though James already got up to fill his own mug. “Just got it. So should be hot.”
James finishes filling his mug, adding a little milk and two cubes of sugar. “Thank you.” They share a smile as he walks back to the bed, getting right back into it. A soft and mellow silence falls over them. From outside the world passes by,barren fields and city blocks in intermitted sections. He doesn’t quite know where they are right now, but some spaces they pass are covered in snow, all white and gleaming. While others are free of the ice, just empty and vast.
It’s fascinating and it’s refreshing to know that for the first time in a long time, he doesn’t have any set plans. There’s nothing anybody is expecting from him, there’s nothing he could be doing, other than sit here and enjoy the day. “So, any plans for the day?”
That Gabriel himself doesn’t have any particular plans, doesn’t mean James doesn’t. Knowing him, he’s most likely calculated for the fact of the empty day and brought something to do with him. From where he’s staring at his coffee mug, eyes glazed over and thoughts far away, James hums, before he says, “None, actually. Got a book I’d like to finish. But other than that no. You?”
“You? Not having any plans? Call the press!” Gabriel jokes. He makes sure that James can tell he’s only teasing him, eyes sincere and lips curled up in a smile. James laughs in return, head thrown back with the force of his giggles.
“Mock all you want. Wanted to challenge myself a little.” James shrugs, a self-deprecating tilt to his mouth. “See if I could go a day without being unreasonable about having to do something and having something to keep busy with.”
“Hey,” says Gabriel, twisting from where he’s sitting onhis side of the pillows, pulling up his legs a bit so he’s facing James. “Nothing you ever ask for is unreasonable. We talked about that.”
Another shrug, an absentminded swirl of his coffee mug. “Must be exhausting, though. Keeping me around.”
Gabriel’s brows furrow, confused. “Where is this coming from? I thought we talked about this.”
“Right.” James looks away. “Sorry, I let my thoughts get the better of me.”
“Are you su-”
“Let’s just enjoy the day, yeah? Forget I said anything.” It’s clearly the end of the conversation, since James tips back the mug and finishes off his coffee. With quick, precise movements, he gathers up his things and ducks into the bathroom. Leaving Gabriel behind in the room, reeling from the conversation and the thought of the burden James is carrying. What Gabriel could do to the people that made James doubt himself so much.
The shower seems to have helped, as James comes out of the bathroom looking calmer and more put together. Gabriel doesn’t dare to bring up the conversation at the risk of souring the mood. He does file it away for later, knowing that it is something they need to talk about. That’s something friends do, right? Encourage each other and lend a listening ear.
The morning passes quickly after that. The first two hours or so Gabriel settles down with a show, while James grabs his e-reader and makes himself comfortable in his armchair. For early lunch they head to the dining hall, where a big brunch is served. They enjoy the openness of the fully windowed carriage and the amazingly stunning view it provides as they drive through valleys and open fields.
After lunch, Gabriel grabs his sketchpad, sits himself down in the armchair opposite James and decides to finish up a few drawings he started in Paris and Venice. James is still clutching his e-reader, but it’s clear to see that he’s getting angsty as his eyes wander more and more. Around two, Gabriel figures they’ve officially passed Finland’s border and are headed into the colder countries. The train slows down just a fraction. Gabriel thinks it’s probably the wisest choice.
There are complete, vast white sheets of snow covering every surface they pass. The mountaintops covered in it, contrasting beautifully with the darker gray skyline. Cities are few and far in between. Gabriel recalls James telling him that they’re skipping quite a few countries to end up in the northern part of Europe.
He makes another round to fill up their coffeepot, this time with tea, grabbing some pastries for them to snack on as well. While he’s there he asks about dinner. They tell him dinner is served around six, but that his partner already madethe reservation for them. He leaves the restaurant with a flush on his cheeks and a warm feeling in his heart. Even the staff thought they were together.
James has disregarded his book when Gabriel reenters the cabin. He’s resorted to staring out of the window, his chin resting on his pulled-up knees. The sight of another pair of soft, fluffy socks makes Gabriel smile.
