“No need to overthink this. It’s a nice day out, we’ll explore the trail and after dinner I get to cuddle you close while we watch a movie,” says Gabriel as he twists the key into the lock of the room. With a satisfied hum and an extra jiggle to the doorknob he steps back and turns to James. “So it’s already a win in my book.”
James’ heart skips a beat. Maybe two, or three. Gabriel’s not often vocal about his feelings; it’s one of the things James learned very quickly. But the tactility and understanding in every affectionate gesture he’s shown toward James makes up for it plenty. That clearly doesn’t mean that it isn’t nice to hear Gabriel confess that he just likes being with James, no matter what they end up doing.
With the soft confession the worry eases, making way for a warm satisfied hum low in his stomach that he’s sure will be there all day. He didn’t know just how reassuring it could be to hear your partner admit things like that, so casually and freely.
The air feels crisp when they step off the train. It’s colder than in Ghent, which might be caused by the breeze coming from the water. James breathes in, enjoying the open air already. It feels less crowded than the other cities. The Arctic had been a special case on his own, so it’s nice to find a city that feels this spacious.
A suitable place for lunch is easily found from one of the recommendations in his notebook, and they spend an hour indulging in burgers and fries. The food is warm, delicious and filling enough to last them the afternoon.
*
James has the hike mapped out in his notebook and with those guidelines he leads them to the beginning of the trail.
“Oh hell no. We’re not going into nature with just your printed map. Here,” Gabriel protests, quickly pulling up the route on his phone and giving it to James. James pouts, but the thoughtfulness of Gabriel wanting to make sure they won’t get lost wins in the end and he grips the device in his hand.
For a while, they walk in silence. Alongside riverbanks, through tree lines and over bridges. It’s silent. Something they haven’t experienced much of during the hecticness of the journey and it feels nice to just take a breath and enjoy the beautiful nature trail around them.
A shrill ringing breaks James out of his reverie. To his surprise it’s his own phone, ringing with a tune he hasn’t heard for quite some time now. He slides the device out of his pocket.
His brow furrows as he slips off the glove from his right hand and shakily swipes right to answer the call.
“James,” the burly voice on the other end greets him. It sounds equal amounts shocked and relieved. “I didn’t think you’d pick up.”
James scoffs, snarling a little, “Then why did you call?”
The man on the other end sighs, clearly expecting it. “To apologize, I suppose.”
Gabriel bends forward slightly, trying to meet James’ eye. James shakes his head, looking away.
“Oh?” He says, perplexed. He can’t say he expected it. Knowing the kind of man his father is, he figures that this isn’t something to take lightly.
“Your mother, she…hmm…shed some light on things. Made me realize how wrong I’ve been.” There’s a silence, the older man clearly looking for the right words. “As caught up as I was in my own prejudice and need for approval, I didn’t realize that I was losing my only son in the process.”
James’ eyes well up. He tries to blink the tears away, not wanting to show the weakness. His eyes find Gabriel’s calculating ones. “Yes, well…”
“I should’ve seen it sooner, and for that I can only apologize. I do hope you’ll bring around that young man your mother has been telling me about. Gabriel, I believe?”
For a second the world stops, everything falling into place. “I see, so I’m welcome again because I happen to be dating a Patterson heir?” The anger comes on so fast that it feelsblinding, white hot burning through his veins. His hand grips the phone so tight he can hear it creak in protest. Gabriel’s eyes harden, turning sad, where they’re still holding eye contact.
“What? No, of course not. You’re always welcome, you’ve always been welcome.” The heavy swallow from his father is audible. “It’s my fault that you haven’t felt that.”
“So it doesn’t have to do with Gabriel being a Patterson, then? That’s hard to believe,” James mocks, huffing sarcastically.
“Your mother failed to mention that, actually.”
James deflates, relief curling around the anger brewing in his heart and diminishing some of the heart ache. “Did she?” He can’t help but smile now.
“She just said that you’re dating a wonderful young man who’s accompanied you on your trip. And that if I didn’t get my head out of my ass I would lose you forever. And that she wouldn’t let me meet him.”
The words shock a laugh out of James. “That sounds like mum alright.”
All of a sudden his father’s tone switches to something lighter, almost teasing. It feels nostalgic and reminiscent of when he was younger. “Your mother wants me to tell you that she figured that you weren’t just roommates. And that she’s looking forward to lunch soon.”
James smiles, tears in his eyes, and he replies, “Tell her she’s too nosy for her own good. And I’ll make sure to come around sometime in the upcoming months.” It’s all he can offer at this time, scarred as he still is.
“It’s more than I deserve,” his father admits and with that the call ends. It’s with a weird mix of sadness and relief that James lowers the phone and stuffs it into his jacket pocket. He buries his head in his hands and starts sobbing.
Somewhere in a distant part of his brain he’s reminded of them being out in the open. The more rational part of him tells him that it’s okay, to let it all out. And as Gabriel takes him into his arms and whispers soft reassurances, he knows that this is a turning point.
