Elyria didn’t want to analyze the how or why of what happened. She was too busy trying to scrub her mind of the shame that was still crawling up her spine from Cedric’s rejection.
Not a rejection,said her rational side.
Shut the fuck up, said the rest of her.
On some level, Elyria understood that she was not quite in her right mind. That her fae instincts were in overdrive, the rush of warmth and heat andrightnessfrom her orgasm overwhelming her higher sensibilities.
The man had simply wanted to talk, for fuck’s sake. He probably wanted to acknowledge just how terrible of a mistake they’d made. Then, ever the honorable knight, he would reassure her that they could remain professional about it. It could be a one-time dalliance, a break in their composure, and they could leave it at that.
Logically, Elyria knew all this.
Emotionally though? She wanted to break every fucking surrounding surface, and it was only the fact that she was in Kit’s room that stopped her. She hadbittenhim. She had tried toclaimhim. A human, no less. What thefuckwas she thinking?
Elyria had been with many lovers in her two hundred and sixty-one years of life. Given that she knew her way around a woman’s body better than the vast, vast majority of her male lovers, her expectations of how muchexpertisea human might have in that department were not high. At all.
But Cedric...The man was clearly no neophyte. His fingers had moved expertly, the buzz of power that ran through Elyria at his touch increasing her pleasure tenfold.
It had been a long, long time since it had been likethat.
It wasn’t just the physical touch, though that had, of course, been exquisite. It was the way it went deeper, further. Hummed along that thread tied between them to the point where she simply couldn’t stop herself.
She’d clamped her fucking teeth down andbit.
And like the reckless fool he was, like he knew exactly what she wasasking for without her having to say a stars-damned word, he’d let her.
In those moments of unadulterated bliss, with her teeth on his skin and his groans in her ears and his blood pulsing beneath her touch, when more than just their magic thrummed between them, there was something else there that Elyria had never felt before.
Of course, in the near century spent with Evander, they had bitten one another many times over. They were fae, for fuck’s sake. But that visceral, all-consumingneedto do it? Not just to bite, but toclaim?Tomarkhim? It had never been like that.
Elyria knew what it meant. What she didn’t know was how to come to grips with it. With what she’d suspected for a while now but still wasn’t sure how to put voice to it.
It didn’t matter, anyway. Without him claiming her in return, the mark would fade in time. Everything would go back to normal, eventually.
A flickering thought in the back of Elyria’s mind surfaced, wondering if that’s why he had stopped her. If he understood what she had done and hadn’t wanted to reciprocate.
But no. He didn’t know. Why would he? How could he? If there was one thing Elyria could count on, it was the total lack of a thorough Arcanian education here in Havensreach—especially when it came to magic. And weren’t bonds a type of magic? There was no reason for Cedric to understand what she’d done, what it meant.
And, again, none of it mattered. Regardless of what happened between them, they were going in separate directions tomorrow.
The room had grown quiet while Elyria was lost in thought. Despite the knowing looks both Nox and Kit had given her—perhaps they really were spending a little too much time together—they’d shifted their attention back to the map spread across the table, murmuring about the quickest routes to Dawnspire and where to go beyond.
Elyria tuned them out, their voices fading along with the crackle of the fire in the hearth and the rustle of parchment. She knew she should listen. Knew she should care. But every word from either of their mouths only made the knot in her stomach twist tighter.
She didn’twantto picture the path to Dawnspire. Didn’twantto discuss whether they should bring a packhorse or a wagon. Didn’t wantto chat about whether Thraigg’s horse would need special accommodations. And she definitely didn’t want to think about the fact that Cedric wouldn’t be going with her.
“I have to go,” she said suddenly, rising from her chair. “If I’m leaving tomorrow, there’s a lot that needs to get done.”
“It’s all being taken care of, Ellie,” Kit said softly. “You just focus on you. Do what you need to.”
Elyria swallowed at the implication.
“Or better yet, go practice some more,” Nox said, the edge of their mouth curving back up into another smirk. “Your shadow mastery is about to be put to a whole new kind of test. Think your sparrows are up to the task?”
“Guess we’ll see, won’t we?” Elyria said sharply as she moved toward the door, though she couldn’t stop her own grin from surfacing at the way Kit rolled her mismatched eyes at the nocterrian.
“Oh, and Ellie?”
“Yes?” Elyria paused with her fingers curled around the door handle.
