“I don’t know. I think I can try,” he said. “It sounds wonderful to throw myself into the unknown. For years, I’ve hadCarleigh’s doctor’s appointments, tennis lessons, and homework assignments swirling through my brain. Now, I don’t know where Carleigh is at any given time. I don’t know if she’s doing her homework. And I can’t care about that. I have to focus on myself. On my next steps.”
Ada couldn’t believe how wonderfully what Nick said mirrored what she’d been thinking. Perhaps all parents experience this after their children leave. Maybe it wasn’t so bizarre.
“I get it,” Ada said finally. She wanted to discuss her own fears and hopes for the future. She wanted to mention her divorce, but she decided it wasn’t professional.
Nick brushed the knees of his pants and smiled. “You’ve been a real help the past few months,” he said. “It was one of the more emotional times of my life, and I really needed it.”
Ada realized he was breaking up with her, professionally.
“You know,” she said, “if you want to, we can talk on the phone. Patient to therapist. Our professional relationship doesn’t have to end.”
Why did she want to keep him in her life? What was wrong with her? There was sweat on her palms and an urgent ache in her chest.
“Thank you,” Nick said. “But I don’t want to limit myself to any kind of schedule. And I think it’s finally time that I figure out my way through this on my own.”
Ada nodded. “I understand.”
Nick turned to look at the door, as though weighing whether he wanted the session to go the full hour. Ada burned to ask him about the logistics of his time, specifically whether he was going to rent out his house in Nantucket and if he would be home for Christmas. But now that he’d ended their contract, their relationship was nothing.
Nick got to his feet and extended his hand. Ada stood and shook it.
“Good luck,” she said. “I’m here any time you need.”
“I appreciate that,” Nick said. “Good luck to you, too.”
Ada hurried to open the door for Nick and stood in her office doorway until he retreated out onto the sunny street. Natalie was at the front desk, her fingers clacking wildly over her keyboard, her eyes following Nick as he left. When he’d disappeared, she looked at Ada. “Did he need to leave early?”
Ada softly smiled. “He says he’s done with therapy. You can go ahead and take him off the roster.”
Natalie looked joyful. “You’ve helped another patient, Ada. You should be proud.”
But before Ada could answer, the front door burst open and brought in a blotchy-faced woman wearing a black dress, the sleeve of which was torn and frayed. Her hair whipped around in wild curls, and her glasses were stained with fingerprints.
It took Ada a second to figure out who it was, and when she did, she nearly collapsed.
“Katrina?” Ada whispered, taking a step back into her office, as though she were frightened that Katrina was about to come after her. “What are you doing here?”
Natalie stood, eager to play bouncer if it came to that. Katrina waddled into the empty waiting room and ripped a tissue from the box on the front desk. She blew her nose comically, then turned her red eyes to Ada. Ada was speechless.
“I’m sorry for coming here,” Katrina whispered. “I know you don’t have room on your roster anymore. I know that. But you’re the only person I can talk to, Dr. Wagner. I don’t know where else to go.”
Ada gaped at Natalie. Katrina sobbed louder and covered her face with the tissue. Natalie hurried around the front desk and put her hand on Katrina’s shoulder as Ada scrambledfor answers.Is this leftover sorrow from Katrina’s husband’s death and affair? Have the Salt Sisters abandoned her? Has something happened to a member of her family?
And finally, why hasn’t she gone to Peter for help? Why is she here?
She must not know about Peter and me. That, or she just figured it out.
Ada took a breath. Natalie spoke to Katrina softly, telling her that she needed to call and make an appointment first. “Can I call a cab to take you home?”Natalie suggested. “I don’t think you should drive like this.”
But Katrina balked and blew her nose again. Ada softened and tried to reason with herself. Now that Nick had cut his session so short, Ada had a little bit of time to talk to Katrina. Maybe, now that Ada and Peter’s marriage was really over, Ada and Katrina could talk reasonably about what was going on. They were adult women in a difficult situation. However, women were often expected to take the lead during times of strife.
“Come into my office, Katrina,” Ada said, stepping back and beckoning. “It’s good you came.”
Natalie looked confused, but she led Katrina to the doorway and all the way to the cushioned chair across from Ada’s. Katrina collapsed, letting her feet flop out in front of her. Natalie looked at Ada, who kicked her head to the side, indicating that Natalie could leave them alone. Natalie left, glancing back twice before she closed the door.
When they were alone, Katrina slowly calmed and pulled her gaze up to Ada. Ada thought she’d never seen someone so broken. She remembered how Peter had spoken about Katrina, how he’d said she was a woman who went after things. Probably she was. People were made up of so many contradictions. Ada herself had been a go-getter opera singer, a wife and mother, anda pretty good therapist. But what was she really? Scared of being alone. Scared of the future. Afraid of so much.
“What’s going on, Katrina?” Ada asked, her voice gentle.
