Katrina sighed and looked down as she clamped her hand around her tissue. “I feel so pathetic.”
Ada frowned and waited. She couldn’t fathom what was coming next.
“Things with my boyfriend were going so well,” Katrina whispered. “We had a fabulous summer, growing in love. We weren’t able to go to the Caribbean, but we spent so many days together. We talked about the future. He talked about introducing me to his kids soon. And the love I have for that man pushed me to do things again. It pushed me to remember my first love of writing. It motivated me to start new projects, clean my house more thoroughly, and exercise more regularly. It was like I had someone to live for again, someone so different from my husband, who’d made me feel awful so often.
“But last night, my boyfriend came over and told me he wants to end things,” Katrina said. “He told me he understands himself better. He told me that he doesn’t regret our relationship, but that he isn’t sure it’s the right thing for him and his future. I said, What about our future? And he didn’t have an answer.
“Obviously, I know that my heartache over my husband’s death and affair is working into this. I know that I’m still so angry and broken up inside, and that’s making my breakup with Peter that much worse. But I can’t help but wonder. Did I get involved with another liar? Did Peter spend all spring and summer telling me things he didn’t really believe? I mean, what’s wrong with me? Why am I attracted to these kinds of guys?”
Ada hadn’t picked up a pen to take notes. She simply sat, captivated, her hands on her lap, listening as the woman Peter supposedly loved told her that Peter had broken things off. Ashard of guilt went through her chest and into her stomach. Had Ada caused this breakup somehow? But she didn’t think so. If anything, she’d pushed Peter farther toward Katrina, only for him to realize that he didn’t want Katrina after all.
What a scheming, lost man!
Katrina continued, “My new therapist thinks I should stop dating for a while, and that I need to take a breather on love. He’s probably right! I do need a break. But taking a break doesn’t help how I’m feeling right now. I feel like I’ve been flipped inside out. I feel like I can’t go home tonight because it’ll just be me, all by myself, waiting for something else to happen.”
Ada’s voice quivered. “What do your friends say? The Salt Sisters?”
Katrina rubbed her temples. “I’ve only told a few of them. They’re so kind and loyal and good, but even they don’t know how to handle me right now.”
“Nobody ever knows what to say when something like this happens,” Ada said quietly. “Even therapists don’t always know what to say.”
Katrina let out a sob, then clapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I know therapists are people, too. I know you’re not perfect. It’s just, you always helped me. Early on.” She inhaled. “I was so disheartened when you wanted to quit working together. I wanted to ask you why.”
Ada knew she needed to come clean. But here in the office, locked inside, she felt as though the walls were going to tighten in on them and crush them. She stood and said, “Let’s go for a walk.”
Katrina looked confused, but she followed Ada without asking any questions. They walked past the front desk and onto the street, where the sunshine was oddly chilly, as though there was cling wrap around the earth. Ada and Katrina walked quietly toward the pier. Knowing that they were on display for all theisland to see, Ada wondered if people knew the connection between the two of them. She pondered if people had seen Katrina out with Peter and Peter out with Ada. Surely, a gossip channel or two had dealt with their complex problems.
They reached the pier. Ada put her forearms on the fence that kept people from falling into the water and watched the sunlight play across the silver linings of boats. Katrina put her hands in her coat pockets and alternated her gaze between Ada and the seagulls overhead. Ada didn’t have the strength to speak for a good five minutes. Katrina seemed okay with waiting, as though she didn’t want to be alone right now.
Finally, Ada said, “When you first came in, I liked you immediately.”
Katrina raised her eyebrows. She probably knew that wasn’t the kind of thing a therapist was supposed to say. But Ada had decided, for the moment, to throw out the rulebook.
“It was a pleasure to know you and talk to you,” Ada said. “I thought what happened to you was awful, and I was so happy that you’d found someone new, even if he displayed a few red flags early on.”
Katrina furrowed her brow, waiting. It was clear that the other shoe was about to drop.
Ada forced herself to look Katrina in the eye. “Honestly, I didn’t figure out who your boyfriend was until it was too late. I already knew too much about your relationship.”
The air was taut. Katrina wet her lips, looking like she was about to faint.
Ada cleared her throat. “Peter Bushner is my husband. We’ve been married for twenty years.”
Katrina stumbled but reached for the fence in the nick of time. All the color drained from her cheeks. Ada remained statuesque. She held all the cards, she supposed, although itdidn’t matter in the long run. Still, it was nice not to be shocked anymore.
“But,” Katrina sputtered, “your last name?”
“I go by my maiden name at the practice,” Ada said. “But I’m Bushner everywhere else.”
Katrina closed her eyes for a long time. Both of her hands were on the top of the fence, securing her to the ground.
Finally, Katrina whispered, “You told him to end it with me. It’s fair. It’s completely fair.” She swallowed. “You have children. You have a life.”
But Ada shook her head, forcing Katrina to open her eyes again. “I didn’t tell him to do anything. We’re in the process of ending our marriage. It’s been a long journey of personal denial and fear. But I’m moving toward the light.”
Katrina slumped forward and placed her forehead on the fence. Ada suspected that Katrina wanted to blame her for Peter's abandonment. But it wasn’t the truth.
Katrina seemed too out of her mind, too confused to cry any longer. Ada touched Katrina’s shoulder, and Katrina didn’t flinch or pull her shoulder away. For a long time, the two women stood at the pier, gazing out at the far horizon, listening to the birds. Ada wondered if she’d ever see Katrina again. She wondered if she’d ever see Nick again. She thought again about how bizarre her career choice was and how she carried with her so many of the islander’s secrets. All of their secrets affected her. Her heart was never immune to the pain they carried.
