I laugh because she’s made a joke,and a good brownie always laughs at one’s jokes.
Even if they’re terrible.
“See?Rocks are cool.”She givesa firm nod.
I make a non-committal noise.
Tossing her notebook away from her, shestands, then picks up the baby.Holding her out at arm’s length, she mutters, “You were not helpful in the slightest.”Thechildreaches for her as she giggles.Fabia wrinkles her noseasshe marches towards the open bathroom window.
“Um, Fabia?”
“Babies don’t take fall damage.They’re too small.”
“That’s true, but –”
Out she goes.She didn’t even hesitate to drop her.
“Fabia!”I run towards the window and peer out, pushing half of my body through the hole so I can see if she’s safe.Fabia yanks me back in before I can.
“Youtake fall damage,” she says sternly.
“But the baby –”
“Is fine.Someone’s bound to finditbefore dark, and they will make sure she gets back to her parents.”That’s true.The whole town raises all the kids, and Fabia knows that better than anyone considering she’s an orphan herself.
“Now comeon.I’ve got a bottle of ambrosia with your name on it.”She ushers me out of the bathroom and down the stairs.“We’re going to get pissed, thentalkabout all the ways we can kill Karl in my book.”
That shouldn’t have swayed me(a good brownie never entertains a murder), but it did.
Five
A good brownie never ruins a party.
Unless it’s Karl’s.-Arienna
“Arienna, stop!”Fabia hissesas she chasesme through thewedding venue I was supposed to marry KarltheDickin.Her attempt to wash away my woes with alcohol turned into a three-day bender, but I have never felt better nor seen more clearly.
Dashing through the sea of round wooden tables filling the outside reception area, I dodge her hands as I cackle with glee.The large box I’m holding out in front of me is hard to see over, and between my fluffy dress tripping up my legs andthe world spinning in circles, I’m surprised I haven’t bumped into anything yet.Clearly, the fates want me to go through with this.
Of course they do.Why wouldn’t they?It’s not like I’m doing anything bad.In fact, I’m being a very good brownie.Because good brownies always bring a present to a party.
Fabia lunges for me, trying to stop me from reaching the long table full of wedding presents.Her black trousers and flat shoes allow her toeasily close the distance between us,so I dart left andright, trying toshakeher.Laughter bubbles up in my throat,manic and free.It mixes with thesound of hot, heavy moans coming from the dance flooron the other side of the flowered archwaybehind us.
Everyone here tonight was supposed to be my guests.At my wedding to Karl.Instead, they’re someone else’s guests.Atherwedding to Karl.And now they’re all having an orgy that I desperately want to attend so I can show him what he’s missing.
But first, I need to drop off my present.Because once it’s on the table, they have to accept it.A good brownie always accepts a present.Regardless of what it is.
Tripping over mydress, I stumblebuttry tokeep my balance.I raise the large box in my hands up, not wanting to knock it into anything.With my visionfullyblocked,I crash into a table.My fluffy bluedresstakes most of the hitthough, and I bounce back with a giggle.Fabia reaches for me, her fingers grazing the gauze of my sleeve,butwith a shriek,I lurch away again.
She curses as she races behind me.
With the box still held high, I look down, tryingnot to trip over the hemof my dress again.But the blasted thingiseverywhere.And these oh-so-cute heelsaren’tdoing much good either on the soft blue grass.Whoever designed them seemsto have made them different heights.I cock my head to the side.Perhaps it’s a new fashion trend…
“Whatever you have,” my best friendhisses, “it is not a good idea!”
No, this is abrilliantidea.And everyone will love me for it.Well, everyone except Karl.
But Karl is a dick.
