My shoulders relaxing, Ilook left and right for Fabia.She is a few shops down, so I hurry into the hollowed-out rock beside me and pretend I’ve been here all along.
My stomach growls as I realise this is a food store.The sweet smell of aphid honeydew fills my nose,andI inhale on a sigh.With a wide, thankful grin, I grab a bowl of the sugar-rich goo and slurp it down.
Fabia enters right as I finish my meal.Her short lilac hair is the only colour on her – her long-sleeved shirt is black; her pants are black; the bag she has slung over one shoulder is black.Even her nails are painted black.The only reason she keeps her hair her natural colour isbecausepurple and black are the colours of Raza, and she’s obsessed with our fairy neighbours.
I don’t know why though.Raza is a cruel, barbaric place that pushes for peace through war.It’s literally fighting with all of its neighbours but us: the Vylian fairies to the north, the snake-like Alzans to the east, the ant-like Jokeni to the west, and the beetle-like Okahi to the south.Whereas, we skipped the whole war bit and just fucked our way to a utopia.
Weekly town-wide orgies go aloooongway to getting people to like their neighbours.
“What are you up to?”she asks, with suspicious silver eyes.
“Nothing,” I say, my eyes shifting, my face burning.Does she know about the dildos?I press a hand to my bag.“What would I be up to?I’m not up to anything?”
Her eyes narrow.“You should be.You just got dumped by your fiancéthree days before your wedding.”She looks around the place, then grabs a gosberry and vanilla cake.“We should be celebrating.Karl was a twat.”She grabs some ambrosia.“Or we should be drowning your sorrows because even though he was a twat, it’s still hurtful you caught him banging your sister.”
I force a smile on, complete with a little laugh.“A good brownie is never sad.I’m happy, I swear.”I look around at the other people in the shop and nod so they believe me.I cannot go to jail today.If I don’t get home soon and feed Hyatt, he’s going to eatthrough the walls of my house.And the first time I introduce him to Fabia, I don’t want it to be during a town-wide massacre.Convincing her he isn’t a monster will be a bit harder, I’m sure, if I’m trying to pull someone out of his mouth.
She studies me for a moment longer, then sighs.“Alright.Let’s head back then, and you can help me with my book or something.At the very least, you shouldn’t be alone, even if you arebrainwashed like everyone elseisin this cult.”
I grin.Brainwashed.Cult.She loves Raza so much, she picks up a lot of their lingo.“Sounds fun!”
Putting the empty bowl back on the shelves for one of the store helpers to tidy away,I grab a handful ofsweetsoff another shelf and shove them in my pocket.If Hyatt doesn’t like his new chew toys, I’ll need the sweets to bribe him into not killing me.Not because he’s meanor monstrous; he’sjusta bit… accident prone.
“So my new book,” Fabia says as we leave the shop, “is calledKing Morningstar Gets Railed bythe Entire Jokeni Army.”
My eyes widen.“But they have hundreds of thousandsofsoldiers!”Hewoulddie well before he got through them all.Probably via chaffing.Down there.
I shudder.She grins with sadistic, artistic license.
“Yeah.He gets turnedintoa proper cum bucket.”
I cock my head to the side.“I don’t think Jokeni have cum,” I say.I don’t know how similar they are to ants, but they sure do look like them – except, they stand upright on their back two-legs, and their other four limbs are arms.
She shrugs.“They have a witch, so they keep him alive.”
I nod as we cross the first roundabout,staying out of the way of rat-riders and rat-pulled carriages.There’s astonestatuein the middle ofthe circle –abrowniegetting boned by a centaur,even though she’s not much bigger than one of its hooves.Magic can allow for many wonderful things.
“Well, that sounds like it’s going to be another good one then,” I say.“Maybe you can send it off to Raza, and they’ll put it in that library you always talk about.”She calls it the Secret Wonder of Gaera, but it’s actual name alludes me.
She smiles wryly.“I somehow don’t think their king will be as enthusiastic about my work as you are.”
I blink.“Why not?You’re a fantastic writer.”
Shaking her head, she punches me in the arm, and I grin.I don’t always understand her, but I know she’s telling me she loves me whenever she does that.I beam as we walk on.Colourfulmushroom-shaped houses lineboth sides ofthe street now rather than the rocks of the city centre.
“But anyway, King Morningstar is having a bath in the third chapter, and given he’s royalty, he only bathes in the blood of newborns.”
“Of course.”Everyone knows that fact.
The next roundaboutwe pass hasa gazeboin its centre,and it’scurrentlyhostinga mini-orgy.The three women’s moans and the six men’s grunts follow usfor a fair while.
“But,” Fabia says.“I have no ideahow many babies he’ll need for – Oh!I have an idea.”She pivots so suddenly, by the time I turn around, she’s already running off.“I’ll meet you at my house!”she yells over her shoulder.
“Fabia!”I gasp.“You need to take yourself to jail.A good brownie never screams.”But she’s too far away to hear me, and I’m not bad enough to yell.
Shaking my head, I give up.Fabia never takes herself to jail anyway.And besides, now I don’t have to come up with a reason for not inviting her inside while I drop off my new things.
Turning back around, I hurry towards home.But mypace falters at the next roundabout.My heart flips as I look at the glass boxon a post that’ssittingin the middle of this one.
