Colourful hearts are painted on its sides, andsittingwithin, on a velvet cushion, is a beautiful emerald ring –free for anyone to take for their spontaneous proposals.Karl proposed to me like that three weeks ago.He opened the box after I gave him a blowjob and tossed it at me before I could even stand.I was so giddy,I broke out into a dance right there on the spot.
My throat tightening, I look away.Karl might no longerwantme in his life, but Hyatt and his five siblings do.With that in mind, I pat the bag of dildos and smile as bright as I can.
Three
A good brownienever tries to stab someone in the face.
Maybe I should read HyattA Good Brownie Does…-Arienna
“Hello,lovelies!”I call out as I poke my headinside my house.“I’m hoooome!”I shimmythroughthe partially open door, then close it quickly behind me.The last thing I want is forany of my babiesto rush past me.
For a moment, there is utter silence.
Then there’s a softbuzzing, coming from the top floor.Asecondlater,Delilah, one of Hyatt’ssisters,shootsdown the spiral staircase at the back of the hall.I droptomykneesand spread my arms.Herpaper-thin wings flap rapidly asshefliesrightinto me.She knocksmedown, and I laugh asherlong antennas swipe across my face.
I lethersniff me.Shehums in delight asshe releases a pleasant smell.Herlarge beautiful eyes light up with joy at seeing me, and I scratch the top ofherfurryhead with a grin.
Whereas Hyatt is a menace,Delilahis a cuddly boo.If only all ofmybabieswere likeher,Fabiawouldacceptthemin an instant.
“Where’s your brothers and sisters?”I ask.
Sherunsherantennasup and down my body, searching for the treatsshe knowsare there.Thenshe pushesherbig head against my trousers.Laughing, I dig out asmall round sweetfrom my pocket.Instantly, the whole house fills with buzzing, like dozens of vibrators going off at once.
The rest of myfourbabiescome flying down the stairs in a brilliant array of colours.Their thorax ranges from green to blue to yellow, and their abdomen from red to pink to purple.Their paper-thin wings are astark contrast, making their fur pop even more,as do their big black eyes andcurvy antennas.
I don’t know how anyone could possibly look at theseadorable, waist-high wasps, and think they’remonsters.
They land around me as I dig out more sweets.Iofferthe first one to Hyatt.I didn’t do that the last time, and he killedKikikoto take his.
Hyatt’s mandibles scrape across my palm as he takes the sugary sweet from me, then he fliesinto the living room, going through the open door on my right, to eat it in peace.
The next treat goes to Gionova.I didn’t do that the last timeeither, and she tried to kill me.Granted, she tries to kill me half the time.It’s almost like a game between us.
“Where is my stinger going to go today?”she says.
“Not in my face!”I laugh.
Or anywhere really.The tiniestnick will kill me.Jack-in-the-box wasps,as I have taken to calling them,are very venomous.Their stingers are made forparalysingscorpionsso they can then inject them with their eggs.Afterwards, their babies will pop out of the scorpion like fun jack-in-the-boxes, hence their cheerful name.
Delilah finally gets her treat, and she eats it by my feet.ThenBo andSamson, the latesttwowaspsthat’vehatched, come up to me with a wiggle oftheirantennas.They’rea bit morecautious around me, nothaving knownme for as long, but Delilah’s close presence helpsthemto relax.
Whenthe two of themgettheirtreatsandgo, I scratch Delilah’s head one last time.Leaving her with a pat, I put onmy biggest smileandhead forHyattinmy living room.
“Hey, pretty baby,” I say as I creep across the green moss carpet, walking past the coffee table with gouges bitten out of it and the pink three-seater sofa with the missing leg.“I got you some gifts!”
Nibbling on his sweet, he completely ignores me.
Opening the bag of dildos on my shoulder, I pull one out.“Look how pretty this one is!”I beam.ItsanEarthechidna’sdick –a smooth tube with what look like four suckers at the end.
He doesn’t even turn his head to look at me.
“Okaaaaay.”I put down the toy and grab the next one.“What about this one?”It’s a beautiful carving of a griffin’s penis –a long, furry schlong.It’s kind of impressive how they managed to make the wood look furry, but at the same time I’m kind of worried about micro-splinters.
When Hyatt pays it no mind, Icautiouslyrub my palm downitjust to sate my curiosity.Thankfully, it’s completely smooth.
I look back at my large wasp.He’s still ignoring me.With a slow exhale,I put the toy down on the floor, trying not to give in to frustration.But he ignores the dragon dildo.The unicorn dildo.The werewolf dildo.Even the krakenone, which sports a Jacob’s ladder.
With nothing left in my bag, I rock back on my heels with a sigh.Hyatt finally looks up at me, and hope builds in my chest.He sniffs the pile of dildos, knocking a few of them aside.My heartbeat increases the longer he pays them attention.
