He’s going to do it.
He’s going to do it!
His antennas are rubbing across the unicorn dick, sliding over the thick veins and bulbous head.Excitement curls in my belly as he opens his mouth and –
Yawning, he walks away.
Reminding myself how much I love him, I shove all the dildosback into my bag.I make a note toplacethem around town tomorrow.Although there’s an orgy tonight, a good brownie neveruses sex toys with another.It’s rude to make your partner(s) feel like they’re not good enough to get you off.
Hoisting the bag into the air, I turn around.Then freeze.Hyatt’s mandibles are chewing on the back of my head.Oh no, Fabia is so going to say, “I told you so”at my funeral!
There’s a sharp tug, and I wince as I arch backwards.My arms flail.I make a little squeak.Delilah comes flying into the room just as he releases me.I stumble into her lovely, furry body.She nuzzles my face, checking I’m okay, and I throw my arms around her and squeeze.At least one of my babies love –
She bites me.
“Ow!”
As soon as I release her, she flies off.Rubbing my arm, I spin around to look at Hyatt, wondering if he’s about to attack me too.But no.He’s chewing on a wayward stick that must have got stuck in my hair.
“Really?”I say dryly.“I risked your life getting you those dildos, and you want a regular stick?”Thatisn’tquite a lie.Nature is scary, and if Fabiamakesme kick them all out of my house, they’ll probably get eaten by birds and bats.
He emits his happy scent as he starts to tear up the stick.
I shake my head with a smile.At least this means I can start rebuilding my stairs.
Walking over to the sofa I’ve been sleeping on, I search the cushions for the flyer I made last night.It needs to be perfect before I give it to Fabia in an attempt to sway her from her monster prejudice.Finding ita bit crumbled, I flatten it out and start reading to see if it’s any good in the light of day.
HERE BE KNOWN:
1.AdultJack-in-the-box waspsare vegetarians.
2.Theyarewonderful pollinators, so much so that someflowers even grow tosmelllike female waspsin order to attract more males.
3.Their stinger is not for killing things or even for hurting them!It’s to paralyse them so they can’t feel theseventy-threesquirming babies they inject inside them.So no pain at all!
4.Their babiesdoeat their way out of the scorpion (food to go, anyone?).Then theypunch their way out of its back (hence their name!).Butwhen they do, they moult, and that sheddingpatches up the holes they leave behind!Isn’t that nice of them?
5.While the baby wasps are cocooning, the scorpion even protects them like a bodyguard because two of the wasp larvae stay in its brain, and they become the best of friends!*
6.I was not forced towrite this bya wasp.
*Thescorpion does die after the wasps all finish cocooning andleave it.But that’s probably from natural causes rather than the last two larvae eating their way out of its brain.
Pleased with myself, I fold up the flyerso I can put it in my pocket.Perhaps this is the day I convince her that wasps are friends.After all, now that I’ve sorted Hyatt’s bad habitof–
A terrible, familiar noise fills the living room.“Oh no!”I groan as I spin around.“No, no, no, no, no!Bad, boy!”
I rush over to Hyatt as he starts tearing into my coffee table.But his angry buzz makes me jump back.My eyes widening, I run from the room as he lunges for me,with his stinger leading.Scrambling across the moss floor,Ibarelymake itoutinto the hall.Slamming the door behind me, I stumble away as he bangs into it.
I start to run for the kitchen to get some ambrosia –theylove the stuff, and they get adorably sleep when drunk– before remembering he chewed up the stairs.“Ah!”I skid to a stop and drop my head into my hands.“Ugh, I love you, Hyatt.But by thegods, you’re adick.”
He just slams harder into the door.
Four
A good browniealways helps another.
Even if that means killing babies in the name of science.-Arienna
