“Whatisyour relationship with Damien?” I interrupted her. Her eyes went wide before narrowing back down to slits. It was obvious that she didn’t want to tell me, but I wondered why? Surely their relationship, whatever they were to each other, wasn’t a secret? If they were betrothed, it would have been proclaimed. There would have been a ridiculous amount of balls to prepare for the wedding, and most importantly… He would have escorted her to the last ball they were at. But I remembered all too well how they fought and how I found it amusing, even though I hardly knew who she was. But she was tenacious! And she rose to any challenge that seemed to cross her path.
“Does that pertain to you telling me why I’m here?” She lifted her chin angrily. See? That right there… I loved her fight, her spirit. It was thrilling and I would love to laugh in the face of anyone who would dare to call her weak.
“It doesn’t, but you could say that I’m interested in the dynamic there.” I leaned back in my chair and tented my fingers. I took in how she sucked in a small breath as I moved, the way she bit her lower lip for a split second before sliding back into that fierce facade.
Yes, maybe she wanted me as badly as I wanted her.
Maybe…
She crossed her arms and stared at me. “I don’t see why my relationships are any ofanybody’sbusiness,” she enunciated the word like it’s been a topic of conversation for her whole life. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the truth.
As Helia’s heir, she wouldn’t need to marry, but people like to see a united front, both a king and a queen. They wanted to know that their kingdom was secure. It was a load of bullshit. Who could look at her and see anything but a queen standing in front of them? She was a natural born leader and getting something as trivial as a husband wouldn’t make a bit of difference at the end of the day.
Her voice raised with each syllable she spat. “Why can’t people speculate about Erina’s relationship status? Why only mine? What in the godsdamn world does that have to do with you kidnapping me?” By the end, she was screaming, her breathing ragged with each intake.
I remained seated as I observed her. Maybe I’d gone too far. I’d upset her with my question, which wasn’t my intention. Was she always this upset when she was asked about her relationships or was it just because I was the one doing the questioning?
“It was just a simple question. The two of you seem,” I chose the word carefully, “close. You’re at ease in each other’s company, for the most part. You’ve known him since birth, yes?” I played dumb,almost. Just so she didn’t know, I’d made it a task to know everything about her. The admission about her mother this afternoon, though, that was a surprise. I knew that her mother had died a gruesome death, but I didn’t know the gravity of the situation. It made me sick to my stomach knowing what she had to witness. It also pissed me off to no end.
“He’s… He’s my best friend,” she whispered softly as she curled in on herself. “Or he was. He always wanted more than I could give him. I fought it for so long until…”
“Until the night of the ball? Until you met me?” My body stiffened, and she nodded sadly. So he wanted her – who wouldn’t? I already knew that, although hearing it come from her had sent a searing pain through my chest. I wanted him to be a nobody, especially to her.
She wiped her eyes quickly, but I noticed a tear fall that she missed. “Now tell me why I’m here, Matthew.”
There was a part of myself that wished I’d never told her I would give this information up, but I was a man of my word and I couldn’t go back on it now. I didn’t have to; she hadn’t structured her bargain correctly, but I didn’t want to behave like the asshole she surely thought I was.
“You’re here because I want you to be. Because by being here, you’re safe.” I took a breath and leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees. “I had gone to the ball because I had received some information and I wanted to know if it was true. The dark whispers to me, Eva. I know things that most people do not. It’s both a blessing and a curse of my… upbringing. I hadn’t expected to meet you, to enjoy our time together.” I fought to find the right words. I couldn’t fuck this up. “The information ended up being true and your life was in danger. Still is, if I’m honest. It’s as simple as that.”
It was the truth. Maybe not the whole truth, but accurate enough.
She didn’t accept that, though. It was written on her face. I loved that she didn’t, but I didn’t want her to fight me on this. She needed to trust me, but I also needed toearnthat trust. I thought that maybe by showing her what I had today, telling her what I knew, that it would change things.
Apparently, I was wrong.
“So what? You expect me not to ask questions other than that? Do you believe that your explanation is good enough?” She scoffed. “Not by a long shot. And also, even if that is a portion of the truth, how long do you just expect me to stay here? Indefinitely? I’m nobody’s prisoner, Matthew. I won’t lie down and accept my fate,” she stood from the table, but I remained where I was. I couldn’t take the chance of letting my guard down, not for a second. When I was with her, I was constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. “My family is going to hunt you down! They will go to war over me.”
“That’s the plan,” my voice was bitter. I didn’t mean it to be, but dammit, she needed to stop pushing me on this.
“What do you mean?” She looked horrified as she launched herself at me, falling to her knees and hitting my chest. I bent forward to grab her, but she shoved my hands off of her.
“I can’t fucking lose anybody again. No one will fucking die for me.” Her fists pounded into my chest. I took it all, letting her hurt me so that she won’t hurt herself. She cried as she did it. And all I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and tell her it will be alright, but I couldn’t promise that. I didn’t know the outcome of this war, but I knew people will die on both sides. It was inevitable. What I hated most was how she was blaming me, and maybe she had a right to. Maybe I really was to blame.
“Howdareyou!” She screamed in my face. “Fucking let me go!”
I gripped her arms and forced her to look at me. “You know I can’t do that. I need you to trust me, Eva. Please, for the love of the gods. You don’t have to like me. You can hate me if that makes it easier on you. But know that I’m doing this to keepyousafe. If that makes me a villain to you, then so be it. I’ll be whatever it is that you require me to be, as long as it keeps you safe. You don’t realize how godsdamn important you are, that you will be in this war.” I brushed her hair out of her face and met her eyes. “Eva, trust that I didn’t have any other option,” I leaned in, our lips almost touching. “Trust me that…”
“No,” she looked at me from underneath her lashes, her voice barely above a whisper. “I won’t trust you. I was foolish to agree to this, caught up in thinking that you were someone else. Someone good…” Her voice trailed off, and it broke my fucking heart. I could feel the pain pounding through my body, my blood. It had a viselike grip on the air I was breathing. “But you’re no better than the rest of them. Lying to me, tricking me. I’m a fucking fool.” She turned around and ran out of the kitchen, the sound of her tears seeming to echo through the silence between us.
I stood up, kicking back my chair violently, screaming out my frustrations. I’d done the one thing that I hadn’t wanted to do. I’d fucked everything up so insurmountably, and now I had to start over in order to earn her trust, but I’d do it.
For her, I’d do anything.
I’d burn the fucking world if she asked me to.
19
EVA
