Matthew’s scream echoed through the corridors as I ran back to my rooms. Regret coursed through my body, and I almost stopped. I almost turned around and ran to him, but I forced the thought out of my head and pushed forward. I didn’t stop until I was safely behind the bedroom door.
I was so tired of hearing all the bullshit and lies that came out of people’s mouths. I was a fucking heir, a godsdamn princess. If anything, I should be the one who was keeping other people out of the loop, not the other way around. For some reason, though, fate had other plans for me, and I cursed them because of it.
Matthew was going to start a war if he kept me, but war was already coming. The attack on Angoria lit the flame that would burn bright until we took down The Horde, or they conquered the realm altogether. I don’t think he understood the pain it caused me when I thought about what another war would do to the kingdom, or hell… To my family. We’d lost so much already. We not only felt the loss of our mother, but the loss of every single fae under our protection. It was important to protect our people, because without them… What purpose did we really serve?
I scoffed. The total bullshit “I didn’t have a choice” scenario was really pissing me off. I didn’t know this man! And he didn’t know me. I’d met him ONCE, one time, and suddenly he felt like he could lay some sort of claim on me? And what was I doing? Falling over him because he spouted some pretty words? Hmph. I was better than that, and I’d prove it. I would build up the wall around my heart so damn high that no one would ever get over. Except for Damien, of course, because I guess he already had.
That just proved my point of how absolutely stupid I was being. I waswithDamien. As in together. Committed. Whatever. But I couldn’t deny how Matthew made me feel, like he actually saw me versus whatever someone wanted me to be. He didn’t try to change me, or at least if that was his plan, then he hadn’t dealt those cards yet. No, I was being stupid and that would end now.
I sighed, laying down in bed and curling in on myself. When had life gotten so difficult? I couldn’t even get ahold of my surroundings before I was thrust into some different clusterfuck. I needed to focus on getting home. My family needed to know I was safe before something happened that I couldn’t fix. Just like I had told Matthew earlier, I wouldn’t let someone die or get hurt over me. It would be a snowy day in hell before I’d let that happen.
I’d been lost in my thoughts when I heard a rustling noise coming from the door. Surely he wouldn’t be so stupid to try and speak to me right now. I’d blast him away from the door before I let that happen. I waited to hear his voice come from the other side, no doubt pleading his case, or maybe he’d knock and try to worm his way into my rooms, but nothing came. All was quiet once again. Maybe I was imagining things?
No, I’d definitely heard something. I turned around and noticed a note that had been placed underneath the door.
I stood, slowly making my way over, and bent to pick the small note. It had been folded to look like a rose. I traced the lines gently, gasping as it unfurled at my touch. It was such a beautiful display of magic, and I found myself warming to Matthew slightly.Pull yourself together, Eva. It was just a damn rose.
I don’t know why, but I recognized his handwriting immediately, like it was calling to me. He didn’t try to explain or write anything dramatic. It was simple, and I think that meant more to me than whatever else he could have said.
“I’m sorry, Eva.”
I stared at the note until my heart ached. I wanted to go to him, apologize for the way I acted and ask him to start over, but there was no way in hell it was actually going to happen. No, I wasn’t sorry. At least I didn’t think I was. It was hard to understand my emotions these days because they changed faster than I could process what was happening.
I gently refolded the paper until it was back as a rose and set it down on the bedside table. Maybe I would talk to him tomorrow, give him a chance to earn my forgiveness. Or maybe he would piss me off again. Who knew what was going to happen? But I stared at the rose until sleep finally came to claim me, where my dreams were filled with nothing but thoughts about him for once.
* * *
I wokeup the next morning feeling strangely refreshed. Maybe it was because my sleep wasn’t being haunted by the screams of someone dying, but I’d gotten so used to them I didn’t know what to do with myself when they didn’t come. I’d decided that I would not start the day off by being angry, though. I’d spent far too much time on that emotion as it is, and I didn’t want to waste any more time carrying it around.
I quickly washed up, deciding on a pastel blue dress that came slightly off of my shoulders and braided my hair down the side. My hair never looked as good as it did when Briar took care of me, and I missed her. She’d stepped in when my mother died, even though I was a grown adult at the time. She loved me like she would a daughter, and her devotion meant more to me than I could ever put into words. Not that anyone could replace my mother, but I felt lucky to have someone that I could rely on in that sense. There are some things that you just don’t want to talk to your father about, and Briar lets me speak candidly. It often led to scathing remarks about how I needed to punch Damien in the face for being so pushy about his affections, which I always laughed at half-heartedly and paid it no mind. But maybe that’s part of the reason I was hesitant to marry him. At the back of my mind, if Briar didn’t approve of a husband, then he wasn’t right for me.
It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, and I swore I saw a couple of birds chasing around playfully outside my window. I longed to be free like one of them. There would be no expectations or responsibilities, just living my life how I wanted to. But instead of freedom, I was held in cages, denied the freedom that I craved more than anything.
I swept out of my room and down the corridor to the kitchen. Breakfast in the garden sounded perfect, and I could whip myself up something quickly because I didn’t want to have to rely on anyone else to do it for me. Plus, I hadn’t seen any servants around Matthew’s house. Not that I’d explored much, but I’d think that someone like him would have people waiting on him hand and foot.
But when I got to the kitchen, I stopped as I saw Matthew humming a tune lightly. His back was turned to me, and the smell of bacon and eggs called to my empty stomach. He seemed at home. Which was a stupid way to describe how he looked because he was literally in his home, but it was a comfortable feeling that washed over the room as he worked. Dare I say that he seemed happy? I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I leaned against the wall and watched him work. My heart called out to him, and any remaining anger I held in my body from last night vanished. I cleared my throat lightly, and he stilled, slowly turning around to catch my eye.
Was that a blush that just crept across his face? It was absolutely adorable.
“Eva? What’re you doing here?” he asked quickly, wiping his hands on a towel before shoving them in his pockets sheepishly.
“Well… It’s the morning, and typically people eat breakfast around this time. You know? It’s supposed to be the most important meal of the day, I’ve heard.” I smiled at him. It felt easy to tease him, but it also felt unnatural and difficult at the same time. I didn’t want to screw this up because the thought of never seeing or talking to him again sent my body into a panic.
He looked down quickly before returning my smile. He turned around and grabbed two plates from the counter. My mouth watered at the sight of them. Eggs, potatoes, and bacon. Everything that was good in this world was in one place. I would eat this every single day of my life if I could. I mean, who didn’t like this stuff?
“It’s a good thing that I made enough for two people then. Come on,” he gestured with his head, pointing to a door I hadn’t noticed before. “We’ll eat outside. It’s beautiful today.”
I let him lead me outside, swishing my dress in my hands as I walked. He’d read my mind before I even told him what my plan was, or maybe that was his plan all along?
“This garden is one of my favorites,” he said as he set down a plate on each end of the table. I noticed he didn’t set us up to sit right next to each other, though. “My rooms are just through those doors. Besides the kitchen, this is probably my favorite place in the world. It’s a safe space where I can just be me.” He looked down at me softly. I fought the urge to kiss him, and I didn’t know where it had come from.
I picked my plate up and sat down right next to him, earning a look of surprise. He said nothing, but I could have sworn I saw the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. I reached out and touched his hand lightly before pulling away. “Thank you, Matthew,” I whispered before eating the food he’d prepared.
Fuck, it was good. I knew he was an excellent cook, but who knew that such a simple meal could taste like they had come from the heavens themselves? I let out a small groan of satisfaction and his eyes snapped to me, drinking in my reaction. His eyes burned with something I couldn’t quite place. Lust? Anger? Passion? It was all the same, really. But the way he was looking at me made my stomach tighten and I fought to grab ahold of my heart before it beat clear out of my chest.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” The way he asked sent my mind into overdrive. Yes, I was enjoying myself immensely, but I wanted more from him. I wanted things I couldn’t possibly want, nor should I. In this moment, I was burning for him. I could feel it deep inside my bones. By the gods, it was just breakfast.
I nodded, looking down at my breakfast before looking back at him. “Yes, Matthew. Your company is very… pleasurable.” He growled at the innuendo, his face growing red. I smirked, satisfied that my teasing had such an effect on him as well. Maybe this wasn’t all in my head. Maybe I affected him just like he affected me. The thought was pure ecstasy.
