“I’m not a good man, Eva. I’ve tried telling you that. You make me want to be good, though. But if you knew the things that I’d done…”
“Why don’t you let me decide what’s good for me and what isn’t? Hmm?” I cupped his face with my hand and gently leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, but he pulled away last minute.
“You can’t do that, Eva,” he shook his head and set it in his hands. I stayed where I was.
“Why can’t I?”
“Because I’mnotgood!”
I sighed in frustration. Our conversation kept running around in circles. “Why don’t you tell me why you think that? I’ve done awful shit too. I’m no saint.”
“And here I was, thinking that you could wash away my sins,” he scoffed. He looked away into the flames. “We should get going.” He stood up and dropped my hands. They fell back onto my lap with a soft thud.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“We need to get away from Helia. They’ll be out looking for you and unless you want to go back…”
“I don’t,” I cut him off quickly. “I don’t want to go back.”Not without you.
“I’m not good for you, darling,” he cupped my cheek. “You should run back and forget about me entirely.”
“I don’t care what I have to do or how long it takes, but I’ll show you that you are worth loving.” His eyes flared at what I had said, what I admitted without thinking. He peered at me but didn’t press the matter.Shit.
“You truly want to stay with me? That means you’ll have to listen to me and do as I say, Princess,” he smirked slightly. Perhaps he was feeling a bit cocky at my declaration. I suppose I’d take that over a sulking man any day.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t do well with taking orders, but I’ll try to be on my best behavior.”
He laughed and hesitated. “You might see a different side of me, Eva. More like the asshole I was when I met you and your friends in the forest.”
Maybe I should have believed what he was telling me, the fact that he wasn’t a good man. Perhaps I should have run away screaming, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to know him better than he knew himself and have him know me in return. I craved him without knowing why.
“I don’t care,” I shrugged.
He stared down at me before tugging me into his lap. He held my body close and breathed in deeply. I melted into his touch.
“You will though,” he kissed my temple. His lips remained on my skin as he whispered, “Why do you feel like home? Like you’re a missing piece I didn’t know that I was looking for?” His nose brushed against me.
I’d been searching for this feeling for so long that it was hard to accept that it was here and with Matthew. I knew I was falling in love with him, but I couldn’t admit that out loud. Not yet at least. I thought about how I told him I’d convince him he was worth loving. That was as close as I could get for now. But when he said things like that to me, I felt the words want to slip out. I didn’t know him, and he didn’t know me – so how could I fall in love with someone that I didn’t know?
“You never told me where we were going.” I reminded him.
“Later,” he kissed me. “For now, let’s just enjoy ourselves.”
* * *
In the morning,Matthew had transported us back to his home. I had told him it was where Damien and the guards were most likely to check, but he was adamant that we weren’t staying–we were only dropping by to pick something up.
His guard was up. I could feel the internal war that raged inside of him. Whether that was because of where we were or of the conversation from last night, I didn’t know. We walked past the corridor near the kitchen, and I saw the extent of the damage that my being with him had caused.
“Gods, I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I looked at the debris strewn about. He clasped my hand and brought it up to his lips.
“It’s okay, darling,” he smiled. “You were safe, that’s what matters. Rooms can be cleaned, and items can be replaced, but not you. You’re irreplaceable.” He looked pleased with himself. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
He stepped closer to me. “You know, when you do that…” He trailed off; his voice thick with seduction. “It doesthingsto me.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes again. “What? Roll my eyes? Get used to it.”
He swatted my behind and I yelped, laughing. “You should learn to keep your hands to yourself, sir!”Actually, I didn’t want that at all.He held his hands up in surrender.
