“Yes, but how can I rest when I do not know if she will wake? How can I leave her when she could open her eyes and see me missing?” I shook my head. “No, I cannot leave her.”
Briar’s lips turned down, pity shining down in her eyes. “Oh, Matthew…” she said with a sigh. “She is never alone. If it makes you feel better, I can stay with her tonight.” I shook my head, and she chuckled. “I figured that wouldn’t work, but could you at least move back to your chair and get off the floor. It hurts my own knees just looking at you.”
On that, I could agree.
I sat down in the plush velvet with a groan, leaning my head back and staring at the ceiling. As Briar told me stories about her family and life growing up, my eyelids grew heavy, and before I knew it, I found myself drifting off to a deep sleep, keeping the beat of Eva’s thumping heart on repeat in my mind.
* * *
“Matthew.”
Through the darkness, I heard an angelic voice call out to me. It was the same one I had longed to hear, but I could not reach it. Instead, a thick fog settled around me, blocking sound and light until I could no longer see.
“Matthew.”
The voice came again, but I could not find it. Whatever world this was, it was utterly devoid of life except for the chant of my name repeatedly. Then, suddenly, a dull object struck my face, and I surged forward. I opened my eyes, rapidly blinking to adjust them to the light. But as the mist cleared, I knew it must be a dream.
Eva was propped up against the headboard, a small smile playing across her lips as she noticed my confused look. She reached out her hand slowly, and I grasped it, shaking my head as she pulled me toward her. “My dreams must be getting better,” I said, lifting her fingers to my mouth and pressing a kiss against each one. “Because this is the best one yet.”
I closed my eyes, centering myself in the moment and savoring the warmth of her body next to mine. My head rested near her lap, and she sifted through the strands of my hair as if clinging to me.
“It’s not a dream,” she whispered. “Thisis real.Iam real.”
I didn’t want to argue; I had enough stress, so I shrugged. “Whatever you say, darling.”
“Matthew, look at me,” she said, gripping my chin and tilting my head toward her.
Most of her bruises had healed, and there was no lingering damage from the attacks. For the most part, she looked completely healthy. But her eyes held a wariness that only time could mend.
“It’s real?” I asked, raising a shaky hand to trace the outlines of her face.
She leaned into my hand and nodded her head. “It’s real,” she repeated.
I choked, standing and pulling her into my embrace. Her arms snaked around my neck and held me tight, afraid if we let go, we would be ripped from each other’s hold.
“Oh darling,” I said, quickly placing the smallest kisses along her forehead and cheeks. “Thank the gods.”
“I could not leave you,” she mumbled, voice trembling. “Whatever I did, I wanted to be with you, so I fought to return.”
“I never would have left you. I would have followed you to the heavens.” Our lips were close, and I brushed mine over hers.
By the time Eva had been cleared, it was early evening. She was instructed to remain on bed rest until the healer stated otherwise. There was only one exception; she was to be monitored closely and always stay by someone’s side, which she accepted without question.
Briar arranged for a meal to be brought to our room for just the two of us. It was the last moment of quiet we would have for a while. I thanked her on the way out, and she hugged me and patted my cheek as I returned toward the table. I looked over my shoulder and noticed Briar lingering in the doorway, casting an unsure glance in Eva’s direction. Her hands clutched at the small apron before she walked out and left us alone.
Eva stood on the balcony, her hair blowing back in the soft breeze. She looked out onto all the wreckage, undoubtedly already fretting over the pyre burnings tomorrow. In total, we had lost well over three thousand souls—not including lives lost from other kingdoms which had been prepared and sent back to their home soil. Volunteers worked tirelessly to build the pyres and ensure each body was given proper honor.
Kalen and Arabella’s bodies would be burned alongside everyone else. He would have wanted it; to be honored amongst the other brave souls who gave their lives, even if Eva and I selfishly wanted to hold one separately.
We had hardly spoken on the matter, but I closed my eyes against the onslaught of images flooding my mind as she confessed earlier in the day that she’d known he had passed from the moment we stepped foot into the marketplace. She had kept her gaze trained down, unable to look me in the eye as she told me how he’d been found, and how it had killed her to keep it from me. There was nothing else I could do but pull her into my embrace, whispering soft words of comfort into her ear as she cried on my chest. These were the decisions she would carry with her until the gods claimed her, but she would never need to do it alone for I would gladly shoulder the weight if it meant giving her a moment of reprieve.
Her grip tightened on the railing, her jaw set as her gaze shifted across the area. Her guilt weighed heavy on her conscience, and would for many years. There was nothing I could do about it, except bring her focus back to me even if only for a moment. I couldn’t help but watch her, drinking in every dip and curve of her body. “Are you not supposed to be in bed?”
“I do not want to be coddled tomorrow,” she said, not looking as I approached her and placed my arms on either side of her body. I could not help but close my eyes and relish the heat radiating from her.
“You will not be coddled, Eva, but you need to realize how fragile your body is after everything that has happened.”
She nodded out toward the scene below. “These people deserve the attention of their leaders, to be acknowledged for every life lost and future sacrificed. They need to know that I will do every godsdamn thing in my power to mend this kingdom.” A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly.
