“This is a problem,” he muttered, placing the blade underneath the fabric once again. Before I could protest, he swiped the blade through the lace, freeing my breasts completely. “That’s much better,” he mused. I heard his blade clattering to the floor before he placed his mouth upon my nipple. His hands remained near my ribs, tracing over the sensitive spots there only he knew about.
I arched into his touch, each movement causing thoughts to rush out before I had a chance to even know what I was thinking. He bit down, hard, and I moaned his name.
“Not tonight, Ren,” he said, pulling away. “It’s time to start my story, so spread those pretty little legs and let me kneel between them.”
I moved on instinct, and I knew he was satisfied at my quick obedience. The bed dipped as he climbed between my legs. I was on display for him. There was not an inch of me he could not see. The thought only caused me to grow wetter. He hummed in satisfaction, running his hands over my sides.
“This is the story of a lying, little vixen, Ren. One who avoids her thoughts.” He pressed a kiss between my breasts as I squirmed beneath him. I did not know what he was talking about, and there was a small voice inside of me that told me I should be worried. “Her emotions, and her past. You see, she wants someone she cannot have.”
Fuck.He knew. He knew everything, and I was about to look like a fool. My heart was pounding in my chest, feeling as if it was about to explode. “Kalen, what are you doing?” I asked, pulling at the binds. “Kalen?”
“Tell me, Renai… Do you wish it was Damien kneeling before you? Looking down at your bare cunt as if it was the answer to all of his prayers?” I tried to close my legs, but he placed one hand on each knee and held me open. “Judging by how much wetter you’re getting, I would take that as a yes.”
“Fuck. You,” I spat. “This isn’t funny.” And it wasn’t, but not for the reasons he thought. It was because it was always Kalen who occupied my thoughts. Kalen, who I envisioned every time I slid my hand between my legs. Not Damien. Never Damien.
Or at least that’s what I tried to convince myself whenever his face crept into my mind when the darkness fell around me.
“I never found it funny at all, but it kills me to watch you deny yourself what you so clearly want. Let me give this to you tonight. You love it when we pretend to be others, it’s our favorite game.”
It was easier that way when we first began sleeping together. We had been friends for far too long, and though I had always thought him to be a handsome man, I’d never thought twice about being anything more.
“We don’t have to pretend anymore, K. We can just be ourselves.”
“Imagine I’m him, Renai. Imagine it’s his tongue running along the peaks of your breasts.” He did as he said, the gentle caress of him leaving me wanting more than before. Kalen leaned forward, his breath tickling my skin. “Imagine he’s begging to know what you feel like as you come on his tongue, his fingers,” he slowly inserted one finger inside of me, “and hiscock.”
He pumped his digits in and out, adding two more as he stretched me to accommodate for his length. “Fuck,” I hissed. “Fuck, K.”
He inhaled deeply, before increasing the speed of his fingers. His tongue lapped at me in time with the assault on my pussy, driving me wild. “Please,” I whined, writhing on his face. He reveled in my response, as if he could tell my body was so close to detonating. “Make me fucking come, please.”
Kalen growled and added a fourth finger, curling up and hitting that tender spot over and over again. I felt my wetness seeping around his hands, the indecent noise echoing off the walls. My body was on fire, alternating hot and cold until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
Though my eyes were closed, I imagined seeing Damien’s soft brown hair tickle my thighs as he dipped his head in between them. His tongue would dart out and flick my clit as he slipped his fingers inside of me.
I came hard, those thoughts sending sweat beading at my temple and slipping down my body. Kalen hissed as I strangled his fingers, not wanting to have him leave my body until the waves subsided. Though, the way he was still moving his tongue over my clit had them still shivering through me.
He groaned, pulling his hand free. “You taste so fucking sweet, Ren,” he growled. I felt his body lean forward, and he sat on top of me, his body nearly suffocating. His thick cock lay on my stomach, leaking pre-cum and aching for me nearly as my body ached for it.
He placed his thumb on my mouth, prying it open as he stuck his fingers into my mouth. “Taste how sweetly you come, Ren. Taste your orgasm. How badly you want to be filled.” Gods, his words were filthy, and I wanted to scream that he was wrong. It was him, not Damien. But that wasn’t true, seeing as it was a mental vision of Damien between my legs that sent me over the edge.
* * *
I staredup at the ceiling, my mind racing with a million different thoughts. There’d been something different tonight about Kalen, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. He was attentive as always, but the sense of detachment in our emotional connection was new. Everything between us was automatic; we were simply going through the motions until we collapsed into a heap of limbs.
At first, I felt elated—running on a high on which I never wanted to come down from. But as Kalen rolled away from the bed, he handed me a damp cloth and retreated back to the bathing chamber to tend to himself. Suddenly, that orgasmic bliss dissipated from my body, leaving me feeling cold and alone.
Shame churned in my stomach, and I quickly cleaned myself up before slipping into one of Kalen’s large tunics before climbing into bed. I curled in on myself, wrapping my arms around my middle. I could be my own comfort, couldn’t I? I didn’t need him to be my solace.
To my surprise, Kalen slipped into the bed behind me. I felt every fidget he made, holding my breath and wondering what would happen next. The air was thick with tension, and every time I opened my mouth to say something, the words evaporated before they could escape.
“Renai, I—” he began, but I shook my head.
“No, don’t say anything,” I whispered, wiping away a fallen tear. “If you’re going to go, then go now, but if you’re going to stay…” I wasn’t sure why I was crying. Perhaps it was a culmination of things, of multiple realities that could never be real no matter how badly I wanted them.
“Yeah?” he asked, but I couldn’t bring myself to say what I wanted. Because what I wanted was for him to hold me, but was it fair to do that when he was pulling himself away? Or was I reading into things due to what had happened earlier?
“Nothing,” I said, trying to lighten my tone. “Night, K.”
He didn’t respond, but he didn’t move, either. Instead, we stayed like that until the moon rose in the sky, taking away our worries with the sun. Neither of us had fallen asleep, instead choosing to remain wrapped up in whatever limbo we found ourselves.
