A sudden knock at the door drew our attention. He looked at me, questions behind his eyes, but I didn’t know who it could be. He dressed quickly, only throwing on a pair of breeches while I remained in bed. I did not want to move, tothink. Not yet, anyway.
Kalen opened the door, and Luka stood waiting. He blushed slightly, peeking over Kalen’s shoulder. I was still naked underneath the thin sheet I’d draped over my body. A figure lingered behind him, but could not make out who it was. Kalen, though, looked as though he’d seen a ghost.
“There’s been an attack,” Luka said, slightly out of breath, as if he’d run here. “Caelora has gone up in smoke. Most residents were lost to the attack.” He looked over his shoulder, then back to Kalen. “There were a few people able to get out in time, thanks to her. We wanted to debrief immediately, but she requested to see you first.”
Luka stepped out of the way, and I immediately regretted my position as Kalen whispered her name. “Illara?”
Chapter21
Kalen
“Illara?”
The gods had to have been fucking with me. That was the only explanation for this combination of sheer luck and misfortune. We hadn’t seen each other since the incident with Cassius; when I bashed his skull in and coated my hands in his blood at the barn. She’d run away without so much as a second thought, and I hadn’t blamed her one bit.
But there she was, standing in front of me with her messy, dark hair tied out of her face. She smelled faintly of smoke, and there was a copper undercurrent I assumed was blood, even if I couldn’t see it on her in the dim lighting. The rags she wore could barely be described as clothes. They hung off her, some areas torn to pieces as if she’d fought for her life in whatever situation she’d escaped from.
Gods, above all, she was still beautiful. I still felt that indescribable connection that I had before. Those deep brown eyes of hers drifted along my body, taking in my bare chest and unlaced breeches, and then flicked over my shoulder.
Illara’s gaze drifted to Ren, and I closed my eyes to stop the shame from washing over me. Not only had I been found in Renai’s room, but she was also lying nearly naked behind me. It didn’t take much to read between the lines.
The evening had gotten away from me; I’d taken it too far, chasing my own high instead of stopping to think about hurting my best friend.
Because at some point, I hadn’t been thinking about her at all.
Initially, it had been Arabella I thought of as I worshiped Renai’s body. How I had imagined her taking my cock as she had on our wedding night and so many others. How perfectly her body caved to mine and the way she made those tiny little noises of pleasure as she came. And then it had shifted to Illara, as I craved the fascination I had with her, and the strange familiarity I felt when I’d been with her.
But none of that mattered as Illara cleared her voice, flitting her gaze back to me. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude—”
“You didn’t,” I blurted. “We were done.” I cringed, hating myself as the words left my mouth. Not only because it would confirm whatever was going through Illara’s mind, but how it would seem to Renai. Gods, I was a fucking idiot. I ran my hand across the back of my neck. “I’m so thrilled to see you.”
She didn’t look impressed as she stepped back into the hall, far away from me. Her arms wrapped around her middle as if she was trying to hold herself together.
Luka cleared his throat. “Why don’t you meet us in the council room, Kalen?” He turned to Illara, offering her a radiant smile that had me curling my fist. “You must be absolutely famished. Those you brought with you are being tended to, either in the healer’s wing or the banquet hall. We can have someone look you over and provide a hot meal.”
She glanced back at me, something crossing over her face before she turned and smiled back at Luka. “That’d be wonderful. Thank you very much.” Without so much as a word, she turned on her heel and walked to the end of the corridor before stopping. I couldn’t help but notice the way her hand flew to her chest, nor the sound of a muffled sob that etched itself into my memory.
Luka looked between Renai and I. “Be there in fifteen minutes,” he said in a low voice. “And I wouldn’t bring Renai.”
“Fuck you, too, cousin,” she said.
I nodded, feeling sick as I closed the door and faced Ren. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, and while I knew she didn’t want me to leave, her words were something I’d already expected.
“Go, Kalen,” she said, gathering the sheet tighter around her body. “I’ll be fine.” Her hands fell to her lap, where she twisted her ring in her hand. She was a talented liar, but I knew her better than that.
I walked to her side of the bed, dropping to my knees and taking her hands in mine. “I’m sorry, Renai. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, or—”
She pulled her hands back, and my eyes dropped to where ours were connected only seconds before. “I told you to leave, Kalen. Let’s not make a bigger deal out of this than it is. It was justsex.”
Another lie. Though this one felt like a knife through my chest. It was never ‘just sex’ with us. We were friends, more than that really. If I was honest with myself…
“Renai—”
“Leave, Kalen. And let’s not have this discussion again.” She turned her back to me, laying back down on the pillow. I stared at her, the gentle curves I’d worshiped only hours ago. But that felt like a lifetime ago. And now, Illara was here, which only complicated matters.
I’d never wanted to be in another relationship. After Arabella, whatever remained of my heart rotted and festered within me, and I’d never tried to put it to rest. Seeing Erina die in the arms of her lover and her sister only solidified my choice.
But Renai was my best friend. She had been there for me when the world came crashing down. I’d known her for so long, given both of our families ran in the royal courts—even if I despised her at first. She was a ridiculous little monster from the beginning, one who was always getting into trouble when she shouldn’t have. And, well, she was beautiful. Any man would be lucky to call her his wife.
