There, laid bare between us, was the kernel of cold truth; an unwavering honesty that killed me to voice. Silence fell, surrounding us in a freezing embrace that gave me chills. I didn’t know what I would do if she said yes–I wasn’t prepared to kill the woman who had become a second mother to me. She was, well, she meant everything to me.
“My girl,” she whispered, soft tears falling down her rosy cheeks. “I would never—have never—colluded with that vile man on anything. Do you truly think I would betray you like that?”
“I don’t know what to believe, Briar, but I know that somehow Lachlan has wormed his way into your mind. You’ve been a spy for gods only knows how long, and that terrifies me,” I said, pressing my hand to my chest . “I can only handle so much betrayal until I inevitably break into a million pieces and scatter to the wind.”
Briar stepped forward, but hesitated and remained where she stood. “I will do anything you need me to do in order to prove that I played no role in this. Should you wish to send me to the dungeons and lock me away, I will do it. Just tell me the price I need to pay, and I shall pay it.”
Only a fool would mistake the resolute honesty in her voice for an attempt at false repentance. And while I didn’t truly want to send her to a cell beneath the palace, I could not risk Lachlan seeing anything through her eyes. “Guards!” I commanded, hearing the door open before I had even finished. Briar’s eyes shifted nervously, but she bowed her head to prove she truly would go to anything length to reassure her allegiance. “Please take Briar to her rooms. Ensure she is guarded, and no one goes in or out unless I personally direct otherwise.” I didn’t have the heart to send Briar to the dungeons, because I still did not truly believe what I’d been told. But I also could not risk the lives of those around me any further.
The sentries nodded their heads, gripping Briar by her upper arm. She went willingly, not looking back at me. A small part of me was thankful she didn’t, for I couldn’t bear the look of her shame. “Wait!” I said quickly, crossing the room and embracing her tightly. “This will not go on forever, but I have to put Helia above all.”
She slowly brought her hand up and patted it once, letting her touch linger. “I know, darling girl. I know.”
As the door closed behind them, I allowed myself a moment of weakness.
* * *
The palace wasin complete and utter chaos, falling apart before the war had even begun.
People bustled back and forth. Cooks and maids cataloged our food supplies, already preparing to ration meals and send out food to those in need if we survived this attack. Sentries reported to their commanders, retrieving their orders and setting up perimeter sweeps along the walls of the city. Healers sought anyone who may have knowledge of their craft and instructed others on how to take care of basic wounds. Everyone else lent their talents wherever they could.
As for me and mine, we were stationed in the council room. Ravens flew back and forth, hardly stopping to rest before being sent out once more. Maps were strewn about haphazardly, letters from other kingdoms lie beside them. There was hardly any space on the wooden desks to be seen amongst the papers. My father was crafting responses to leaders and relaying orders to our armies. Ciena sat beside me, studying the sketch of the city streets. We planned to direct the evacuated citizens to gather behind palace gates, but finding safe passages was proving difficult.
I rubbed my temples, watching two captains engage in a shouting match that echoed off the walls. Even with all the bodies surrounding us, it did nothing to muffle the disagreements raging around us. My vision blurred, the lines before me crossing with one another. Information and plans changed every time I seemed to close my eyes. I could hardly keep up anymore.
If fear had a stench, it would have suffocated me by now. It was all around, all I could breathe in. I saw it in each person’s eyes that flitted by, averting my gaze as if to hide the fact that I had brought this down upon all of our heads by not being strong enough to stop it before.
“… I believe if we are able to relocate this entire outer ring, we can limit casualties dramatically,” Ciena concluded, leaning back in her chair. I had only caught the end of her speech, my mind racing as I was reminded that today could be the beginning of the end for not only Helia, but for Aethion as well.
My parents had both fought for our freedom—my mother died for it—and now it could all come crashing down around me. The thought of her death being in vain made me nauseous. How had it gotten to this? How had I not sought Lachlan earlier? I knew the answer, and I hated myself for it.
“Eva?”
After Erina’s death, I’d been too caught up in my grief to muster the strength I needed to pull myself together, and now everyone else was suffering for it.
Gods, why did I let it get this far? Why, why, why—
“Eva!” Ciena snapped her fingers in front of my face, grabbing my attention.
I jerked my head up, eyes shooting wide open. “I apologize,” I said, rather sheepishly. She looked at me with a soft kindness in her eyes, and bitter shame burned on my tongue. There was no way I could tell her the thoughts coursing through my mind, because if I did, she would make up an excuse to tell me it wasn’t true.
I did not want to hear that. Even if I did, I would not believe it, anyway.
I took a breath, analyzing the marks and routes she’d plotted on a map below. We’d been searching for a way to clear the outer ring of the city. No matter where Lachlan struck, or if he struck at all, he would have to start there and work his way inward toward the palace. At least we could save some lives in the process.
My lips curved up, though I knew the smile did not meet my eyes. “It’s a wonderful plan,” I told her, nodding my head at the map. “Issue the orders to the city guard and tell them to hurry.” It was not her job, especially not as queen of her own territory, but Ciena did not balk as she did what I asked. I had seen the haunted look in her eyes as she realized her sister had taken Kalen hostage, and I could not imagine what she was going through. She had her own shame burdening her shoulders. If Erina had ever done something so terrible, it would have been more difficult than I could imagine.
Anger rolled off Renai in waves as she walked toward me, the tension becoming palpable with each step she took. “Is there any news?” she asked, cutting right to the point.
“You first,” I said, leaning back in my chair. Renai had been searching through Kalen and Illara’s belongings to see if there was a single clue to be found about where they’d gone.
“None. I tore both rooms apart, too. Well, I suppose they were already torn apart to begin with, but I went through everything carefully before dismissing it as a lost cause.” She looked down, picking at her nails. They were already bleeding. “Your turn.”
The glimmer of hope flickering in her eyes was quickly replaced with disappointment as I shook my head. “We have sent out ravens to every outpost in Helia, even more to other kingdoms and rulers. There has been no word or whisper of Kalen or of Lachlan.” My brows furrowed, and I hated the next words before they left my mouth. “I need you to speak with Damien again. Perhaps he’s remembered something new that may help us—“
“I can’t,” she answered quickly, shaking her head. Those bloody fingers dug into her bicep, infinitesimal crimson dots peppering the space.
I waited for an explanation, but one never came. My irritation flared out of nowhere, rearing its ugly head in Renai’s direction. “And why not?”
