“I couldn’t move here for five years.”
Luna frowns. “You won’t kill my hope.” She reaches for the radio and turns it on. Christmas music pours through the speakers, but she turns it down so it’s background noise. “You know, five more years is a lot. Have you thought of stopping at amaster’s degree instead of going all the way to doctor? There’s a lot of good you can do with a master’s.”
The very idea of stopping early and walking away with a master’s in psychology is much more appealing than she could know, but impossible. “My school doesn’t offer it. The program is a doctoral degree, so I committed to the long term. It sliced off a year, but it means I can’t quit or transfer or end early.”
“So you’re stuck.” Luna shakes her head quickly. “Obviously not stuck. I mean, of course, you love it there.”
But I don’t. Now is my chance to tell her, too. She couldn’t have provided a more perfect opportunity. My heart races, though. Coming out with the truth to a stranger in a pub was one thing—I never thought I’d have to face that man again. Telling my sister the truth means she will know how I really feel for the rest of time. You can’t undo knowledge once it’s given.
But she is someone I trust, and her opinion is something I value. “I don’t, actually.”
“Don’t what?”
“I don’t love it there. Ever since Alex started dating Katie Potts, my faculty clinical supervisor, she has tried to make school impossible and slow for me. She creates problems but in such a subtle way, I feel gaslit. Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually making it up in my head, which is making me feel crazy. It doesn’t even make sense, because she got the guy! So why does she have to put me down?”
Luna’s silent for a moment. “To keep you down, I’m guessing. She must struggle with low self esteem and worry that you have a chance at getting Alex back.”
“I don’t want him back.”
“It must not feel that way to her.” Luna chews on her lower lip. She tries to glance at me but has to look back at the road. “Why haven’t you said anything?”
“Gaslighting, remember? I spent so long wondering if afaculty member would really sabotage me, I convinced myself I was making it up. Then, when I was fairly sure I was right, it became this awkward realization that I have to put up with her for the next five years, and I need to find a way to deal with it.”
“Well, have you?”
“Yeah, I flew to Scotland and played house with a man in a kilt.”
She smirks at me. “What kilt?”
“I’m going to suggest he gets one.” I lean back and close my eyes. “I want to help kids, and I can do that with a master’s. Should I quit and go start over somewhere else?”
“You’d be giving up a whole year and a half of work for nothing.”
“I don’t want that.”
“So you put up with it for another four and a half years, and then you’re Doctor Callie Winter, and you can put UCLA behind you forever.” Luna shrugs. “It’s not like Kayla will be your supervisor the entire time, right?”
“Right.” I exhale. “If I get the internship I tried for, then my practicum hours will switch to this great youth center we have close to campus, and the woman who runs it is incredible. I’ve never actually met her, but she’s done a lot for the community, and she’s popular with the kids, which means she must be amazing.”
“Sounds like a major improvement.” Luna pulls the car into the airport and shoots me a smile. “What are the chances you’ll get the internship?”
“No idea. But I got the application in on time, so I’ll find out in January. Just don’t say anything to Mom or Dad. I don’t need them worrying about me.”
Luna looks uneasy. “I get it, but they’d probably like to know.”
“Please?”
“Fine.”
“Promise?”
“Sheesh, yes. I promise. Now, while we still have privacy. I want details. Whatexactlyhas Gavin said and how can we get you that Scottish kiss?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
GAVIN
The Dunleith Christmasmarket is a relatively new tradition, so I haven’t visited it many times. They’ve managed to capture the spirit and essence of the holidays perfectly. Open wooden buildings with red roofs line either side of the High Street, with lights strung across the booths. Greenery and wreaths are hung on the peaks of the roofs and each lamp post. It’s a vision of cozy delight for everyone except the children, who lost interest in the market after the first hour had come and gone.
