‘I sort of lost my appetite.’ I gave a little shrug. ‘Only to be expected when you find out the man you’ve fallen in love with is about to put a whole ocean between you.’
Charlie’s hand stilled on my hair and I felt his body stiffen.
I looked up. He was looking out across the river.
‘What’s the matter?’
He didn’t move his gaze. ‘What you just said. Did you actually mean exactly what you just said, or did it come out a bit… wrong?’
I rewound the conversation in my head.
Oh. Crap. Not quite how I had planned for that particular revelation to happen. In fact, I hadn’t planned for it to be a revelation at all. In my messed-up state, I’d just gone blathering on. But I guessed it was out there now.
I drew in a sigh. ‘No. I mean, yes.’
Charlie turned his head, stepping back from me as he held up his hands in question.
‘So, which is it, Libby? No or yes.’
His voice was tight, his face serious.
I swallowed. ‘It’s both. No, it didn’t come out wrong. And yes, I meant it.’
Charlie looked away, squinting as the sunlight bounced off the Thames. After a moment he shook his head, his eyes still averted.
‘I have to get back to work.’
‘Charlie.’ I stepped towards him. ‘I didn’t mean to tell you like this.’
‘Don’t, Libby, please. You’ve just berated me for not telling you I was leaving and all this time, you’ve been holding onto something like that!’
‘There’s no “all this time”! I didn’t even know until recently, and I wasn’t about to blurt it out if I wasn’t sure and risk ruining our friendship!’
‘I have to go,’ he said again, not looking at me.
‘So go, then!’
He flicked his glance down to me, held mine a moment, then turned on his expensive heel and began walking back towards the restaurant. I watched him stride off, my chest burning as it struggled to keep all the hurt inside. Turning away, I put my head down and began heading for London Bridge station.
Hearing footsteps approaching fast behind me, I made to move out of the way, only to find Charlie back beside me. He caught my arm and pulled me to the side.
‘You can’t just go around doing that, you know!’
‘I don’t… doing what?’
‘Telling people you’re in love with them with no warning. It’s just not… you just can’t do it!’
I threw off his hand in anger. ‘It’s not something I make a habit of, Charlie! And I realise that I didn’t do it in the best way possible, but it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.’
‘But you did plan on telling me?’
‘Yes. Maybe…’
‘Why?’
I looked up and met his eyes. There was none of the warmth there that I was used to seeing when he looked at me. Today they were the blue of glacier ice.
I hesitated, feeling the chill through my bones. ‘Because when something’s important, you should say it.’
